“You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,
With a single strand of your necklace.”
-Song of Songs 4:9, NASB
These words better fit my second wedding day than my first. It should have been a clear warning to me of upcoming events.
The day Mrs. DM and I got married we were full of smiles and laughter so thrilled to finally begin our official life together. We had decided to wait until I had a firm job offer before we set our nuptials. I wanted to be sure that we had a solid place to live together as a family, which necessitated a job offer for me.
The offer came, townhouse rented, we married and honeymooned. All of this within one month’s time. It was crazy and very different than my first wedding experience.
As the ten year anniversary of that first wedding draws near, I reflect on those two truly radically different wedding days.
The first was a big happening! Friends and family flew in from literally around the globe.
The second was more about us as a couple. We did not wait to gather everyone and make sure their schedules fit ours.
The first was far more expensive. Rented suits, food, photographs, videos, etc. Still cheap as far as weddings go registering in the $10,000 range.
The second wedding was very inexpensive and simple. I called up a dear minister friend last minute to officiate, and the biggest expense probably was the photographer hired to document the day. Mrs. DM and I had even seriously considered eloping, but I couldn’t do that to my mother and did not want to signal to the world that we had anything to be ashamed of in getting married. So, we had a very intimate family gathering.
The first wedding a major theme or expectation was on me loving the dress and get up of my (now) ex-wife.
The second wedding was all about us and our new life starting together. And yes, Mrs. DM was gorgeous (proof in picture above).
These two weddings were vastly different. Shamefully, I struggle to remember my second wedding anniversary (in fact, Mrs and I both forgot the actual date last year until we were reminded) as it was never about a date but about our life together.
And that is how I think God wants marriage to be:
It is about the life He is giving us to have together and not about the pageantry of one day.