And then it makes sense.



The months of stone-cold or downright cruel responses.

Warmth disappearing overnight like a Minnesotan May blizzard.

It all started to make sense.

I wasn’t imagining things.

The Other Man.

He existed.

Had existed for months!

This is one of the strangest and most surreal parts of discovering infidelity. The moment of confirmation is not only a painful one. It is also a moment of validation. I felt relief. Pieces of the puzzle in my head started to make sense after months of madness.

And I know I am not alone in such an experience.

It is not a mercy to a faithful spouse to be left in the dark about the infidelity. This just adds to the suffering already present.

Being kept in the dark makes things all that more tortured and confusing for someone who already feels his or her soul being bludgeoned yet does not know exactly from where the blows are coming.

6 thoughts on “And then it makes sense.”

  1. Not to mention that keeping your spouse in the dark is a lie. Marriages cannot survive on lies. Good points.

  2. Not soon enough Ex, tried to make it like a big joke that I had found a pair of cheap white hoop earrings on his night stand. None of the females in our household could wear cheap jewelry. I believed him because I believed that our marriage was solid in Faith. At first I felt so stupid for being duped. And yes some relief that all the warning bells were Real. Now I have memories like a nightmare I had long ago. I Thank God for the Grace and Peaceful life he has provided me . I stand firm in Faith with God.
    No Faith or Trust in weak men or women who cannot maintain their vows.

  3. Yes relief indeed, but with accompanying agony. Relief that I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t imagining things. I wasn’t overthinking. Agony that it was real. I was being betrayed in the worst way. I was being lied to repeatedly. Agony that the little glimmer of hope that it was a misunderstanding is now gone for good. Your soul has been raped.

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