Some bridges NEED burning!


I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

– I Corinthians 5:11, NLT

Some bridges need burning!

I am thinking of those bridges to demonstratively abusive individuals who refuse to stop hurting you. Don’t eat with them. Burn the bridge.

-This might mean ending a “friendship” with someone who believes he or she knows more than you do about honoring God amidst infidelity discovery.

-It might mean walking away from a local church community and/or a pastor who does not “get” that he or they are being spiritually abusive and hurtful.

-This might mean giving a long-time “friend” one more chance to change via a rebuke over his or her hurtful words in regards to your infidelity-destroyed marriage.

-It might mean writing off the former in-laws as lost to the divorce and accepting that they will never choose to hold their own cheating child accountable for destroying his or her family.

I don’t know what it means for you.

But remember:

Some bridges need burning!

Somehow, we have gotten all twisted over God’s intentions for us. We–I did, at least–internalize these messages that tell us that we have to accept abusive treatment and never, ever  burn a bridge. We thinking cutting out people from our lives is so very un-Christian.

This is not a healthy or godly message.

Clearly, the Apostle Paul wasn’t afraid to burn a bridge or two when it came to people with stubborn sin issues.

That is not to say burning a bridge is easy or always fun. It is painful to grieve the loss of what we had hoped was a loving and supportive relationship that just isn’t.

A surgery is not painless; but that says nothing about its necessity. Sometimes we need to cut someone out of our lives to be healthy.

Some bridges NEED burning!

*A version of this post appeared previously.

3 thoughts on “Some bridges NEED burning!”

  1. Burned that bridge at church and left it! 11 years of serving there and when I asked for help, not… even… one… phone… call! Goodbye! They were having their own sets of problems!

    1. Marie, I burned the bridge to my church too. My ex-pastor lied to me three times and he will no doubt lie to his dying day that he lied to me. I felt such confusion and craziness dealing with the pastor and how he was acting towards me and seemingly accepting of how my ex was acting. And all the other “Christian” men at that church — not acting in any way in how the Bible says to act when someone does such a great sin. And the pastors wife — she drank the Kool-Aid of “Trust the men of the church. They know what they are doing.” Ugh. Burn, baby, burn! I burned it all to the ground and even wrote the pastor an email and told him that I was happy I never had to set foot in his church again and also wrote the leader of the boys group that my ex helps lead. I told them they were all a part of an evil plan against me. I could care less what they think about me and what I said. Somebody had to say the truth as it wasn’t coming from anyone at that church!

      I also burned the bridge to the Switzerland friends and all my ex-family members. Most of them say there are Christians, but………….either supported the cheater or didn’t want to take sides. Well, let me push you off the fence and onto the cheaters lawn where you belong. Adultery and lying are wrong and by not taking a firm stance against it, then you are supporting it.

      1. They are accountable to God….And God cannot be mocked!
        It’s sad when innocent people/children are pulled into the web of lies and forced to act like/call something evil “good”!
        Hopefully, with all the attention the media is giving sexual misconduct, the church will take a God fearing approach to dealing with the sin of adultery as well!

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