Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!

Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin. -Deuteronomy 24:16, NIV Today, I quote some basic justice principles laid out in the Old Testament. It is actually rather clear; however, the dynamics around infidelity often put both survivor … Continue reading “Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!”

Again: O, the injustice!

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then … Continue reading “Again: O, the injustice!”

Dear DM…What I do not understand…

Dear DM, I appreciate the biblical explanations on your site. I have been married 24 years. I dealt with infidelity/adultery in the first 3 years of marriage and because we were Christians, and I loved my husband we reconciled. I thought we were worked through that many years ago and that was over. Fast foreword … Continue reading “Dear DM…What I do not understand…”

It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32, NLT When I first discovered the Other Man, my righteous anger burned hot against him! I really wanted to mess him up in that moment of discovery. He had defiled my marriage with my wife. Raped my soul! Then … Continue reading “It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.”

He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?

“He stopped committing adultery and seems to be repenting. Must I remain married to him?” -Faithful Spouse Some pastors would vehemently disagree with the position I take on this matter. They would try and add to the teachings of Jesus by insisting faithful spouse must take back cheaters who have stopped cheating. I do not hold such … Continue reading “He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?”

Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?

Why am I not “healed” already? -Faithful Spouse So, it has been a year since you discovered your spouse was cheating on you. You are wondering why you still get “triggered” and feel incredibly anxious. Speaking from personal experience and working with faithful spouses, this is a fairly usual response to infidelity discovery. Your world … Continue reading “Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?”

Cheaters and their wicked nature

Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. -I Samuel 25:3, KJV This verse comes at the … Continue reading “Cheaters and their wicked nature”

Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?

Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?”

Raging Over Things, Not Relationships

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -MATHEW 6:21, NIV Things are temporary. Relationships–broken or otherwise–and people exist forever. These basic spiritual truths are often lost on cheaters. They are so consumed with their “rights” and the devaluing of their partners that they fail to see what matters eternally. After all, … Continue reading “Raging Over Things, Not Relationships”

Opposite Gender Friends Possible?

Do I believe heterosexually married people can have opposite gendered friends? Yes and No. Plenty of faithful spouses who come here know the pitfalls of such “friendships.” We know how these relationships are sold as innocent by cheaters–and they may have been at one time–yet they are far from innocent in reality. I do believe such friendships … Continue reading “Opposite Gender Friends Possible?”