So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. -Proverbs 6:29, NIV Did you ever notice how your cheater changed their appearance when they were cheating? Maybe your cheater got glasses–even though, he or she does not need them medically? Maybe your cheater suddenly became a fitness nut … Continue reading “Changed cheater appearance for the charade”
Category: Trauma of adultery
“How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.
How long will my enemy triumph over me? -Psalm 13:2b, NIV When enduring the many injustices of marriage infidelity discovery, this is a common refrain of the heart. Life is very unfair. It seems like the cheater is “getting away with it.” The cheater seems so happy. They are get the thrills and you are … Continue reading ““How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.”
PSA: On “private definitions”
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with difficult argument situations. … Continue reading “PSA: On “private definitions””
Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation”
I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””
Self Doubt’s Lasting Legacy
But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. -Hebrews 5:14, NKJV I still struggle honoring my own experience as valid. Cheaters are “good” at devaluing the faithful spouse’s experience. They do not want them to believe the … Continue reading “Self Doubt’s Lasting Legacy”
PSA: Never divorce stance is hazardous!
Public Service Announcement: When divorce is NEVER acceptable, then every sort of evil behavior in the marriage IS acceptable! This is what taking a hard stance against all divorce entails. Requiring faithful spouses to remain married after adulterous activity is enabling abusive, sinful behavior. It is toleration of adultery. God gives us permission to divorce … Continue reading “PSA: Never divorce stance is hazardous!”
Cheater-Speak: God forgives me.
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me,” says “Christian” Cheater. “Really?! What work have … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: God forgives me.”
God is not surprised or overwhelmed
For hasn’t he promised you, “I will never leave you alone, never! And I will not loosen my grip on your life!” -Hebrews 13:5b, TPT A temptation when facing difficult circumstances is to believe we are on our own. It may feel that way, for sure. I know I felt it. The abandonment feelings are … Continue reading “God is not surprised or overwhelmed”
Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!
Why do we take advice from an unrepentant cheater? I know I am not the only one who did. At least, I did this for a time. I opened myself up to her criticism as if she was qualified to identify “the problems.” This likely comes from a desperation to “save the marriage.” A solution … Continue reading “Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!”
Reading cheater tea leaves
When I was going through the darkest part of my marriage dying, I really did not want the divorce. (As a side note, I am so grateful today that I was freed by that divorce. God has used Mrs. DM and Munchkin to restore the laughter in the halls of my heart.) A temptation I … Continue reading “Reading cheater tea leaves”