We could have made a list, too!

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” -I Peter 4:8, NKJV Cheaters are “good” at putting together a list of things that they do not like about their spouse. They are doing this to “justify” their infidelity and their abandonment of the marriage. The … Continue reading “We could have made a list, too!”

Oh, the difference!

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. -Proverbs 31:10, MSG Eight years ago, I was in a much different place around this time. It was the season my first marriage imploded. All sorts of horrors came forth during that season. Yet God sustained me. He was there with me … Continue reading “Oh, the difference!”

Buckle your spiritual seat belts!

For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them. -Isaiah 61:7, KJV When we think of some circumstance happening, we can easily gravitate to sudden catastrophes. That is what discovering a cheater was, after all. That … Continue reading “Buckle your spiritual seat belts!”

Cheater-speak: “It just happened.”

“It just happened.” -Cheater This sort of explanation of an affair is a way to avoid responsibility. It is a way to ascribe the affair to causes like blizzards and tsunamis. It just happened. Natural disasters “just happen.” Sin takes an agent. If this was not so, then God would not bother telling us NOT … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “It just happened.””

Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”

Be present when the cheater “ends” it

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV Liars lie. And cheaters by the fact that they cheated are liars. A wise person does not just take them at their word. Words need to be verified by action. I do not recommend trusting a cheater … Continue reading “Be present when the cheater “ends” it”

When they try to normalize cheating…

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Cheaters often use the same plays.  This is why I believe a dark spiritual element is evident in all cases of infidelity. The commonalities in behavior are too eerily alike to be just be coincidences. Some wicked force is coordinating this evil! One thing I remember my (now) … Continue reading “When they try to normalize cheating…”

Serrated Shame Words

There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health. -Proverbs 12:18, NKJV Stuck with serrated shame. This is how I describe that experience you get when someone finds your emotionally vulnerable place and shames you there. It might only be a word or two. However, the damage … Continue reading “Serrated Shame Words”

The one pointing fingers…

When you made it to a counselor or pastor’s office, did your cheater take full responsibility or point fingers at you? I bet it was the later. Some pastors are naive enough (or complicit enough) to take the bait. They follow the finger of the cheater and focus on those “issues” to the exclusion of … Continue reading “The one pointing fingers…”