Assuming a cheater is miserable because their spouse is so lousy is a dangerously bad assumption. The misery may simply result from a discord between their actions and their morals. They cannot escape the condemnation in their hearts over the sins they are committing. It is also possible their misery is a result of unresolved … Continue reading “A miserable cheater”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists
Cheaters sometimes come with the faithful spouse to a pastor (or Christian marriage counselor) with a list. This is a list designed to excuse their behavior and keep the focus off their own sin. Many take the bait. We, faithful spouses, think that if we do the requested self-improvements then we can save our marriage. … Continue reading “Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists”
If they blame you for their emotional affair…
If they blame you for their emotional affair… …be aware that they will have no problem blaming you for a physical affair, too! This is one of the many reasons to take an emotional affair seriously. Once the cheater feels embolden to believe lies about emotional affairs–namely, they are not responsible for such sin–then consider … Continue reading “If they blame you for their emotional affair…”
Can you “blow up” what has already been blown up?
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Can you “blow up” what has already been blown up? This is a rhetorical question. My point is that divorce after adultery is a situation following such a “blow up” of the family. The adulterous spouse blew up the family with their sins. A faithful spouse divorcing … Continue reading “Can you “blow up” what has already been blown up?”
The “Deadwood Friends”
But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” -Luke 22:48, NLT Some “friends” will “kiss” you with words-bespeaking of their love for you-while they further the cheater’s agenda of blame-shifting the infidelity and marriage’s demise upon you. It is confusing enough dealing with the lies and deceptions of a … Continue reading “The “Deadwood Friends””
Who are allowed in God’s presence?
Who is allowed into God’s presence? The Psalmist answers this way: Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the Lord, and keep their promises even when it hurts. -Psalm 15:4, NLT If we believe the Bible and the Psalmist here, this means those who celebrate the adulterous will not enter God’s presence. … Continue reading “Who are allowed in God’s presence?”
Adultery caused the marriage rift; NOT its confession!
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are … Continue reading “Adultery caused the marriage rift; NOT its confession!”
Remember God has you through this!
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. -Proverbs 29:25, NIV People will likely talk. Sure. Even–maybe especially–“Christian” people with issues with you getting a divorce from your cheater. However… Do not allow the “fear of man” to paralyze you. That fear is what will get you snared in … Continue reading “Remember God has you through this!”
Cheater claims “toxic marriage”
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Did I miss something? When I read this verse–part of the Ten Commandments–I don’t see where it says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery unless [you believe] your marriage is a toxic relationship.” I don’t see it because it is NOT there! This is an especially lame cheater excuse or … Continue reading “Cheater claims “toxic marriage””
Words from a proven liar
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. -Proverbs 12:22, NIV A spouse cannot commit adultery without being a liar. They vowed to “forsake all others,” and they broke that vow. They lied. This is an important truth to keep in mind when dealing with a cheater. It is vital … Continue reading “Words from a proven liar”