The warped world of a cheater

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV The Warped World of Cheaters When you have trouble admitting truth, your grip with reality will become looser and looser. Along with that loosening grip, your world will become warped. This … Continue reading “The warped world of a cheater”

Some People Just Prefer Looking “High-Minded” and “Neutral”

“The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality.”  -John F. Kennedy (attributed wrongly to Dante) Considering all the people who love neutrality in the face of adultery discovery, this part of Hell must be rather crowded by now. Ha. Half-joking. Discovering adultery is certainly a … Continue reading “Some People Just Prefer Looking “High-Minded” and “Neutral””

Choose better!

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” -Deuteronomy 30:19, NLT Cheater sympathizers often miss the real choices cheaters make. They … Continue reading “Choose better!”

Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.

Want to really help a faithful spouse “move on” from being cheated on? Acknowledge the very real injustices they have experienced. Christians who are so fearful of faithful spouses “getting stuck in victimhood” fail to recognize this important lesson. They fail to see that the healing cannot begin without first seeing the wound for what … Continue reading “Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.”

If marriage is so sacred, why do you give marriage defilers a “pass?”

If marriage is so sacred, why do Christians and others give a pass to marriage defilers–aka adulterous spouses?! Like God divorcing Israel over repeated adulteries (see Jeremiah 3:8), it makes more sense to me that people who really think marriage is sacred would levy stiff consequences to those who defile it. So, I do not … Continue reading “If marriage is so sacred, why do you give marriage defilers a “pass?””

Rob Porter, Mormonism, and Religious Never-Divorce Pressure

Last week, Rob Porter resigned his position with the Trump White House. His two ex-wives had accused him of abusing them during their time married to him. Porter is Mormon, and a recent CNN article talks about the role their religious faith community played in their domestic abuse stories. ***To be clear: I am NOT … Continue reading “Rob Porter, Mormonism, and Religious Never-Divorce Pressure”

Teaching Basic Marriage Morality

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, KJV Today was the day. I was driving Munchkin to a birthday party. It was being held at the dad’s house of a classmate. Munchkin informed me that her classmate’s parents live … Continue reading “Teaching Basic Marriage Morality”

Cheater-speak: “Come on! It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Come on! It wasn’t a big deal. That’s why I didn’t tell you.” -Cheater When a cheater responds this way, they are engaging in gas-lighting. Let me explain: They know whatever happened IS a big deal to you. So, they say this to cover for themselves and invalidate your feelings. Also, the chances are good … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Come on! It wasn’t a big deal.””

Your ex does not own your beliefs. It is okay to disagree.

“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading “Your ex does not own your beliefs. It is okay to disagree.”

Deep Dive: Abuse Survivor’s Forgiveness Definition

Rachael Denhollander did an interview with Christianity Today.  Her responses to how coming out as a sexual assault victim of Larry Nassar, the disgraced gymnastics doctor and convicted predator, has impacted her in her Christian community are profound. I did a whole blog post on my thoughts in dialogue with her responses in that interview (click … Continue reading “Deep Dive: Abuse Survivor’s Forgiveness Definition”