Again: O, the injustice!

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then … Continue reading “Again: O, the injustice!”

It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32, NLT When I first discovered the Other Man, my righteous anger burned hot against him! I really wanted to mess him up in that moment of discovery. He had defiled my marriage with my wife. Raped my soul! Then … Continue reading “It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.”

Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?

Why am I not “healed” already? -Faithful Spouse So, it has been a year since you discovered your spouse was cheating on you. You are wondering why you still get “triggered” and feel incredibly anxious. Speaking from personal experience and working with faithful spouses, this is a fairly usual response to infidelity discovery. Your world … Continue reading “Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?”

Cheaters and their wicked nature

Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. -I Samuel 25:3, KJV This verse comes at the … Continue reading “Cheaters and their wicked nature”

Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?

Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?”

Raging Over Things, Not Relationships

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -MATHEW 6:21, NIV Things are temporary. Relationships–broken or otherwise–and people exist forever. These basic spiritual truths are often lost on cheaters. They are so consumed with their “rights” and the devaluing of their partners that they fail to see what matters eternally. After all, … Continue reading “Raging Over Things, Not Relationships”

Opposite Gender Friends Possible?

Do I believe heterosexually married people can have opposite gendered friends? Yes and No. Plenty of faithful spouses who come here know the pitfalls of such “friendships.” We know how these relationships are sold as innocent by cheaters–and they may have been at one time–yet they are far from innocent in reality. I do believe such friendships … Continue reading “Opposite Gender Friends Possible?”

FACT: CHEATERS ARE MARRIAGE FLUNKIES!

“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments)   Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “FACT: CHEATERS ARE MARRIAGE FLUNKIES!”

“Not Sorry” Looks Like a List!

How do you know if your cheater is truly repentant? Well, if he or she responds to being exposed by sharing a list of your “short-comings,” then the cheater is not likely repentant. The cheater might even agree that what he or she did was wrong. However, that acknowledgment is brushed aside so that he … Continue reading ““Not Sorry” Looks Like a List!”

Pro-Tip: If they are encouraging you to welcome others’ attention…

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” -Job 31:1, NLT An adage among fidelity website(s) is how if a spouse suggests living in an “open marriage” that you already are in one. This same wisdom applies–in my opinion–to situations where a cheater suggests the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: If they are encouraging you to welcome others’ attention…”