Dear DM…What I do not understand…

Dear DM, I appreciate the biblical explanations on your site. I have been married 24 years. I dealt with infidelity/adultery in the first 3 years of marriage and because we were Christians, and I loved my husband we reconciled. I thought we were worked through that many years ago and that was over. Fast foreword … Continue reading “Dear DM…What I do not understand…”

Cheater-Forgiveness-Pushers, Was Paul Wrong?

“In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.” -Acts 17:30-31, NIV God does … Continue reading “Cheater-Forgiveness-Pushers, Was Paul Wrong?”

Don’t open the door

“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT This past week I was reminded of some wisdom I heard years ago from a pastor-mentor of mine. It was advice about dealing with destructive people. He told me not to to “open the door” wide to an individual … Continue reading “Don’t open the door”

Cheaters and “Cheap Grace”

…cheap grace — “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Cheap grace wrongly separates absolution of sin from acknowledgment of that sin. -Katelyn Beaty, “The Mistake Christians Made in Defending Bill O’Reilly Cheaters and “cheap grace” Beaty’s article takes aim at some prominent conservatives and evangelical leaders. In particular, her article exposes the hypocrisy of … Continue reading “Cheaters and “Cheap Grace””

When “good” is not an option

Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV What drives me nuts about how some pastors speak of divorce is how they assume a “good” option is left on the table for a faithful spouse. Sadly, following infidelity this just isn’t the case! The faithful … Continue reading “When “good” is not an option”

Like a super suckerpunch to the gut!

“At every street corner you built your lofty shrines and degraded your beauty, spreading your legs with increasing promiscuity to anyone who passed by.     … You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband!” -Ezekiel 16:25,32, NIV Nothing really prepares you for that moment of discovery. Nothing. You might have suspected the … Continue reading “Like a super suckerpunch to the gut!”

Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?

 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on docket of things to do in the … Continue reading “Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?”

My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15

  One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15: 14 For if you forgive other people when they … Continue reading “My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15”

Have you forgiven your ex?

“Have you forgiven your ex-wife?” -Inquiring Christian Let’s assume this person has not already passed judgment and condemned you as “bitter.” In other words, they are asking this question in good faith and out of genuine love for you. My response would be: What do you mean by “forgiven?” The answer to this question will … Continue reading “Have you forgiven your ex?”