Mistake Made In Re-Engaging

The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “Mistake Made In Re-Engaging”

Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces

 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces”

Not about the things, yet …

A practical reality of divorce is the necessity to divide up the marital “assets.” It is “just” things. Yet so much more… Now, I will confess that I am a bit sentimental about things. It is a “real” danger that I would become a cat hoarder in my old age left to my own devices. … Continue reading “Not about the things, yet …”

Grieve the death

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Grieve the death”

Deep Losses Can Lead To Deep Gratitude

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. -Psalm 18:16, NIV Like violent water rushing down a channel, harsh circumstances can serve as the means to deepen our hearts and expand their capacity. Losses are huge for divorced faithful spouses. The loss of “friendships,” love, money, … Continue reading “Deep Losses Can Lead To Deep Gratitude”

Godly Sorrow and Discerning Advice

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “Godly Sorrow and Discerning Advice”

Lysa TerKeurst Deals With Husband’s Infidelity

“My husband, life partner and father of my children, Art TerKeurst, has been repeatedly unfaithful to me with a woman he met online, bringing an end to our marriage of almost 25 years….I don’t share this to harm or embarrass him, but to help explain why I have decided to separate from him and pursue … Continue reading “Lysa TerKeurst Deals With Husband’s Infidelity”

The Tragedy of the Ending

The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way….” -I Samuel 16:1a, NIV The Tragedy of the Ending Just because we have accepted the end of the marriage due to the adultery does … Continue reading “The Tragedy of the Ending”