20 My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. 21 His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. -Psalm 55:20-21, NIV The shock is real. You thought you were married to one person, and their behavior is revealing them to … Continue reading “Yes, they could. They did!”
Category: Grief
Moving kindness
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23, NIV (emphasis mine) Without fail, I find myself tearing up when I hear stories of kindness. The stranger that stops for another in need and offers of themselves when they didn’t have to. I … Continue reading “Moving kindness”
Do you really need to stay connected on Social Media?
Do you really need to stay connected with them on Social Media? One of the important steps I took towards healing from my divorce was to disconnect my Social Media accounts from my ex-wife’s. It was a hard but necessary step. The temptation is to keep on looking at their posts, and that just leads … Continue reading “Do you really need to stay connected on Social Media?”
Gift of the new thing.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. -Isaiah 43:19, NIV A little over a decade ago, I was fresh off my divorce. That year I decided to go to a conference in Kansas … Continue reading “Gift of the new thing.”
God DELIGHTS in YOU!!!
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” -Zephaniah 3:17, NIV God does not just tolerate you. This is one of the important truths revealed in this verse. God has … Continue reading “God DELIGHTS in YOU!!!”
Another Anniversary of Sorts
Today marks eleven years since I became officially divorced from my Cheater. I probably would have forgotten that fact if not for running this blog and seeing an old post marking its passing. That is how insignificant the date has become now. This day is a day that I could not foresee when my divorce … Continue reading “Another Anniversary of Sorts”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
Made a humiliating list
When I was separated from my cheater, I made a list. It is humiliating looking back on it. I wrote up a list of reasons for why I wanted to stay married to her (even though, I knew she was a cheater). As you might have guessed, she responded to it with contempt. In part, … Continue reading “Made a humiliating list”
Financial Reliance
One of the hardest parts of adultery discovery and divorce is how it can be financially devastating for the faithful spouse. Cheaters know this. I think some use it as another emotional cudgel with which to beat their faithful spouse. They use their financial power to terrorize their (soon to be ex) spouse. I think … Continue reading “Financial Reliance”
Grief Surprise
Recently, I was driving to a friend’s house and feeling a little sad. Initially, I could not put my finger on what was putting me in the funk. Then I realized… …it was my “trauma-versary!” A little over a decade ago, my (now) ex-wife called and confirmed my worst suspicions. She had–indeed–been sexually active with … Continue reading “Grief Surprise”