An Important “IF”

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and IF they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV (Emphasis Mine) IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9, NKJV AN IMPORTANT “IF” When Christians encounter situations where marital infidelity has taken … Continue reading “An Important “IF””

Dear DM, Do I just keep sucking it up?

Dear Divorce Minister, As hard as it is, I have been reading your posts as an offender against my husband. I have taken full responsibility for my actions, I believe I repented and worked for years to make amends. He says he has forgiven me, yet why do I feel as if I’m being constantly … Continue reading “Dear DM, Do I just keep sucking it up?”

Dear Divorce Minister, What should I look for?

Dear Divorce Minister, My husband choose to continue his affair, which has resulted in me filling for divorce. He did not show any true remorse just used the word sorry. His actions in continuing to see his AP told me otherwise. When the divorce is final he is then not committing a sin anymore. What … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, What should I look for?”

Reconciled to Friendship, NOT Marriage

And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to Friendship, NOT Marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciled to Friendship, NOT Marriage”

Dear DM, How would you have responded?

Hey DM, I am interested in what you will say to Christian friends that they are praying for you and the ex to remarry. Said “friend” knows we are divorced but states God can work on ex and then “family” can be back together. Now this is all stated under their guise of caring for … Continue reading “Dear DM, How would you have responded?”

No Issues With Never Being Married To Her Again.

Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. -Numbers 14:30, NIV While I hope my ex-wife finds repentance one day, I have moved on with my life. We will never be married again as I am … Continue reading “No Issues With Never Being Married To Her Again.”

The “Model Divorced”

“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. And maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “The “Model Divorced””

Grieve the death

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Grieve the death”

John Piper Is Okay With Widowed Spouses Remarrying…

“There won’t be marriage and giving in marriage like there are here and now. So, at the principle level, widows and widowers are free to marry in the Lord.” -John Piper answering “Can I Remarry If My Spouse Dies? Should I?” While this probably does not mark a change in Piper’s position regarding remarriage for … Continue reading “John Piper Is Okay With Widowed Spouses Remarrying…”

Question Exchange: Did you try reconciling? Instead…

You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’” -Mark 10:19, NKJV QUESTION EXCHANGE Instead of probing the faithful spouse regarding their efforts to reconcile with a cheater, I suggest putting the onus upon the cheater. … Continue reading “Question Exchange: Did you try reconciling? Instead…”