The Struggle to Let Go

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. -John 12:24, NIV Letting go of a marriage ravaged by infidelity is hard. I think it is made doubly so–unfortunately–in Christian communities because of all … Continue reading “The Struggle to Let Go”

Silence Helps Evil

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV I am several years removed from my divorce and all the sinful, destructive shenanigans my cheating ex pulled. In fact, Mrs. DM and I will be observing our 3rd wedding anniversary later this month. So, why keep talking … Continue reading “Silence Helps Evil”

Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors”

Be Present For Break-Off!

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV Liars lie. And cheaters by the fact that they cheated are liars. A wise person does not just take them at their word. Words need to be verified by action. I do not recommend trusting a cheater … Continue reading “Be Present For Break-Off!”

Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.

Dear Divorce Minister, I am a adultery (victim) survivor. I actually think my stumble onto your webpage was an answer to my prayer. Recently a minister in my large church dropped a bombshell on the congregation. He told us that his wife had had an affair, and divorced him. He never prior to this announcement … Continue reading “Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.”

“I said it was a mistake!”

I said it was a mistake. What more do you want me to say?! -Cheater What drives me nuts with some Christians is how a cheater admitting to “a mistake” is enough for them. They take the bait, then they turn on the faithful spouse to figure out what he or she did or didn’t … Continue reading ““I said it was a mistake!””

But what about the damage to their reputation?!

“Keep it as quiet as possible. Just think about the damage done to other relationships if you tell them she cheated on you [aka the truth].” -Standard (Awful) Advice Such concern for the damage of relationships is too in coming late. Actions reveal character. Character often shapes reputation. If a cheater wanted a good reputation, … Continue reading “But what about the damage to their reputation?!”

Disagreeing with “Duck Dynasty” Al and Lisa Robertson on Divorce

A reader sent me an article promoting a book by Al and Lisa Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame. In the article “Al and Lisa Robertson: Rebuilding After an Affair,” the story of Lisa’s repeated infidelity is shared along with their advice to couples to remain married even after adultery. The article bothered the reader sending … Continue reading “Disagreeing with “Duck Dynasty” Al and Lisa Robertson on Divorce”

Re: Comment on “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof'”

In a comment on my post, “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof,’” Katygirl wrote: I’m thankful that God uses all things for those who love him and are called according to His purpose. I am also thankful that the teaching fundamental of this movie and book are that love covers a multitude of sins. I don’t … Continue reading “Re: Comment on “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof’””

John Piper’s Son, Barnabas, Divorces

  Eleven and a half years- that’s how long it lasted. Eleven and half years of marriage and then gone….When she told me she was finished it was like a knock at the door from the police chaplain – utter shock, not real, numbness, anger, fear. -Barnabas Piper, “When A Marriage Dies,” Published January 10, … Continue reading “John Piper’s Son, Barnabas, Divorces”