An Analogy: If you were violently mugged….

Some Christians do not get “it.” In fact, pastors and Christian counselors can be some of the worse offenders as it comes to spiritually abusing faithful spouses. I  cannot imagine most pastors or therapists dispensing the same sort of advice if faced with a different situation of abuse. Yet they think they are dispensing “wisdom,” … Continue reading “An Analogy: If you were violently mugged….”

DM on Chris Hill’s Restoration to Ministry by TD Jakes

You have to learn how to ignore your haters. If God is for you who can be against you? – @pastorchrishill #RecoverItAll #WeAreOvercomers A post shared by World Overcomers (@worldovercomers) on Aug 13, 2017 at 3:42pm PDT *Clip with “restored” Reverend Chris Hill preaching on “How to Recover All.” Back in April 2017, Pastor Chris … Continue reading “DM on Chris Hill’s Restoration to Ministry by TD Jakes”

Reminder: You don’t have to agree!

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “Reminder: You don’t have to agree!”

Make Ambiguity Work Against Cheater Interests

“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face     and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity Work Against Cheater Interests”

Thoughts on Forgiveness

Recently, I came across a blog post on my social media feed. It is found on Dr. Henry Cloud’s website teaching boundaries. The way the author–Dr. Cloud?–frames forgiveness is helpful. The article is entitled, “Just Because You Forgive, it Doesn’t Mean You Have to Trust Again.”  Three important points are laid out as follows, 1. Forgiveness … Continue reading “Thoughts on Forgiveness”

DM, This is a text from a friend…

DM, This is a text from my friend regarding my wife who has cheated on me with 4 men over the last 13 years. She is now repentant, running to God like her pants were on fire after I discovered the most recent affair. I feel like my Christian friends are putting it all on … Continue reading “DM, This is a text from a friend…”

Possible. But likely? Doubt it.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible. But likely? Doubt it.”

Need Seminary Classes Dealing With Divorce and Infidelity Situations

If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Need Seminary Classes Dealing With Divorce and Infidelity Situations”

Wise Not To “Be Friends” With Some Cheaters

Some cheaters will never give up their narrative of “what went wrong.” Naive Christians think such madness is finite. They think the cheater will “have to” face the difficult reality some day. Surely, she will eventually come to her senses and face the reality that she blew up her marriage by committing adultery. Don’t count … Continue reading “Wise Not To “Be Friends” With Some Cheaters”

Feeling Bad Is NOT Enough!

Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the Lord’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded.”  -I Samuel 15:24,  NLT Feeling Bad Is Not Enough Even though Saul called his disobedience sin, God did not accept this late and lame confession–(notice the … Continue reading “Feeling Bad Is NOT Enough!”