PSA: In the room…

Public Service Announcement: In the room where divorced or nearly divorced Christians meet, you will likely find some who were discarded for another and abandoned against their will. Pastors and other Christian leaders working with this population need to sensitize themselves to this reality. Not everyone at a divorce support group chose divorce. Some of us were … Continue reading “PSA: In the room…”

Sickening Smugness

Smug, married Christians act intolerably towards faithful spouses hemorrhaging from soul rape. These are “know it all” Christians who think all that proceeds from their mouths is gold. They are the “wise” ones in their eyes. The reality is what proceeds from their mouths would be better used to fertilize the fields. These smug people … Continue reading “Sickening Smugness”

An Analogy: If you were violently mugged….

Some Christians do not get “it.” In fact, pastors and Christian counselors can be some of the worse offenders as it comes to spiritually abusing faithful spouses. I  cannot imagine most pastors or therapists dispensing the same sort of advice if faced with a different situation of abuse. Yet they think they are dispensing “wisdom,” … Continue reading “An Analogy: If you were violently mugged….”

“Innocent Party” in divorce

Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble is  winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent and the perpetrator. Now, I understand the those who say we all have contributions to the marriage … Continue reading ““Innocent Party” in divorce”

Permission to divorce includes permission to remarry.

Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead. … Continue reading “Permission to divorce includes permission to remarry.”

DM on Chris Hill’s Restoration to Ministry by TD Jakes

You have to learn how to ignore your haters. If God is for you who can be against you? – @pastorchrishill #RecoverItAll #WeAreOvercomers A post shared by World Overcomers (@worldovercomers) on Aug 13, 2017 at 3:42pm PDT *Clip with “restored” Reverend Chris Hill preaching on “How to Recover All.” Back in April 2017, Pastor Chris … Continue reading “DM on Chris Hill’s Restoration to Ministry by TD Jakes”

Reminder: You don’t have to agree!

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “Reminder: You don’t have to agree!”

Winners, Cheaters Are NOT!

So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. -Genesis 25:33-34, NIV My integrity is not for sale!!! It is very precious to me. If I break my promise, this valuing … Continue reading “Winners, Cheaters Are NOT!”

Cheaters, Beware!

“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars–they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” -Revelations 21:8, NIV (emphasis mine) What if pastors led with this verse from Jesus to cheaters as opposed … Continue reading “Cheaters, Beware!”

Make Ambiguity Work Against Cheater Interests

“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face     and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity Work Against Cheater Interests”