Cheater-speak: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”


Whether or not the cheated intended to hurt the faithful spouse does not change the fact that they did!

Such a statement from a cheater is more about caring for the cheater than it is about caring for the faithful spouse.

The cheater is trying to protect their self-image by presenting themselves as someone with good intentions even if the behavior was undeniably bad. They are making the situation about themselves again.

My take on this is to push the cheater to see intentions do not change the harmful impact of their words and actions upon the faithful partner (and others).

In other words, the intentions of cheaters are really irrelevant as far as it comes to cleaning up the mess they created by their lying and cheating.

Instead of this image management move, how about ACTING in a way now that shows genuine care for the adultery vicitm? Absent that, I would say the faithful spouse–and others–have good reason to doubt your “pure” intentions amidst the past cheating.