Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].”

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.'”

-Proverbs 30:20, NIV

“Yes, I crossed the line sexually with [Other Man]. But I am not divorcing you because of [Other Man].”


This is just another way of saying that the cheater is unwilling to take responsibility for her choices and actions. She did not take full responsibility for committing adultery.

Why would she start taking full responsibility now when choosing to divorce?!

Lines like these from cheaters are their way of trying to keep the faithful spouse beating himself up over the demise of the marriage.

Cheaters are trying to remove the adulterous affair from marriage demise narrative. They want us to treat it as immaterial.

Nothing could be further from reality, though.

This is akin to a murderer telling the judge that he shot her dead, but that fact is irrelevant to her death. She had skin cancer, after all.

Whether or not a cheater marries her affair partner following divorce is irrelevant to the fact that her adulterous affair destroyed the heart of the marriage.

Fidelity and trust is at the core of marriage. Both are destroyed when a cheater carries on a deceitful affair.

A cheater may sincerely believe the divorce was caused by something other than her infidelity. But such a belief does not change the reality that her affair devastated and destroyed the marriage. 

In other words, the affair is not irrelevant to the discussion as to how the marriage ended.

1 thought on “Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].””

  1. I have a simple motto that I feel like people just don’t understand. It’s simple common sense; if you are unhappy then LEAVE. Cheating is selfish, especially if you have no legitimate reason to do it. I think it’s harder to cheat than it is to actually just leave that person.

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