Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.
-I Samuel 25:3, KJV
This verse comes at the beginning of a story recounting how King David served Nabal by protecting his wealth–i.e. sheep–but was repaid for such services by Nabal via insult.
King David and his men nearly go on a slaughtering spry in revenge for such insults, yet that is adverted by Abigail’s quick thinking and generosity.
The story ends with God striking down Nabal, and then King David marrying Abigail.
Why do I share this story on this blog?
My point is to highlight how the Bible makes sense of Nabal’s foolish and wicked behavior. Nabal responded to David and his men this way because that was his nature. He was a wicked and mean man.
Often times, faithful spouses spend endless hours trying to figure out why cheaters cheated on them. The answer may not be as deep or hidden as our investigations suggest.
Adulterous spouses cheat because that is who they truly are:
Look no further than their natures. Like Nabal in this story, it was not the circumstances that made him respond with evil or nasty rudeness.
No, he responded this way because he was a wicked, mean person.
We may have missed this when we married our cheaters. Perhaps, this part of who they were was intentionally hidden from us? Or perhaps, it is only revealed over time and through life’s inevitable pressures? I don’t know.
However, I submit to you to stop wasting your time trying to figure out why they did it. The proof is in their actions or inaction–i.e. lack of repentance after the fact.