There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil…
-Proverbs 6:16-18, NIV
People do not “get it” unless they have experienced it up close and personal.
They do not understand the depths of evil and absolute coldness exhibited by cheaters towards their own soul-partners. Basic consideration of the faithful spouse’s humanity is routinely ignored and disrespected. Cheaters treat their spouses as far worse than mere strangers.
-Some will lead on the faithful spouse by going to couple’s counseling tearing the faithful spouse down and anger baiting them all while cheating on the faithful spouse without telling the pastor or counselor.
-Some will claim they have no money while hiding assets and spending extravagantly on their whores or male-gigolos.
-Some callously expose or even infect their spouses with STDs and not bother to warn them. When confronted, they may even refused to get tested even though they were the ones bringing such life-threatening risk to the marriage bed.
Most deny the truth about their cheating when asked by a faithful spouse. In other words, they abuse faithful spouses by gaslighting them. It is evil and cruel.
I call it cruel because this is the one person who ought to be loving the faithful spouse the most. We are to be ONE in heart with our spouses as Scripture teaches (e.g. Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5-6).
When a person has contempt for the other–like all cheaters have for their partners–then that opens the door to all sorts of cold-hearted evil. After all, those who we despise are not usually treated with respect and love. This is all too true in the experience of a faithful spouse.
God does not minimize such a dynamic.
That is why–in part–I believe God gives faithful spouses a way out of such a relationship via divorce with no shame (e.g. Matthew 19:9).