“I don’t want to pick sides in this,” says a Christian “friend.”
A person saying this is communicating to the adultery victim that they think something could justify their victimization.
Let’s be clear:
They ARE picking a side. It is the side of the adulterous spouse.
This is not a godly response to faithful spouses seeking support.
If a battered spouse came to this same friend explaining how their partner beats them, I doubt many of us would see how this response is less than helpful or godly.
“I don’t want to pick sides in this” response allows the abuser to continue the abuse as he or she is not faced with pressure to stop.
Adultery is abusive. It might not manifest as leaving visible bruises. But I assure you that it is deeply wounding.
“I don’t want to pick sides in this” response is a declaration of indifference to the pain of one’s friend. It is not the response of a true friend as a true friend cares when their friend is abused.