Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!

Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin. -Deuteronomy 24:16, NIV Today, I quote some basic justice principles laid out in the Old Testament. It is actually rather clear; however, the dynamics around infidelity often put both survivor … Continue reading “Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!”

Again: O, the injustice!

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then … Continue reading “Again: O, the injustice!”

Dear DM…What I do not understand…

Dear DM, I appreciate the biblical explanations on your site. I have been married 24 years. I dealt with infidelity/adultery in the first 3 years of marriage and because we were Christians, and I loved my husband we reconciled. I thought we were worked through that many years ago and that was over. Fast foreword … Continue reading “Dear DM…What I do not understand…”

It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32, NLT When I first discovered the Other Man, my righteous anger burned hot against him! I really wanted to mess him up in that moment of discovery. He had defiled my marriage with my wife. Raped my soul! Then … Continue reading “It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.”

He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?

“He stopped committing adultery and seems to be repenting. Must I remain married to him?” -Faithful Spouse Some pastors would vehemently disagree with the position I take on this matter. They would try and add to the teachings of Jesus by insisting faithful spouse must take back cheaters who have stopped cheating. I do not hold such … Continue reading “He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?”

A Tale of Two Lives–Five Years Ago Today!

Five years ago to this day, I applied for my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) while my world was falling apart. My wife had left me. We were still doing couples counseling–as I remember it. But that was an exercise in futility. Unknown to me at the time, my (now ex) wife was … Continue reading “A Tale of Two Lives–Five Years Ago Today!”

Cheater-Forgiveness-Pushers, Was Paul Wrong?

“In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.” -Acts 17:30-31, NIV God does … Continue reading “Cheater-Forgiveness-Pushers, Was Paul Wrong?”

Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?

Why am I not “healed” already? -Faithful Spouse So, it has been a year since you discovered your spouse was cheating on you. You are wondering why you still get “triggered” and feel incredibly anxious. Speaking from personal experience and working with faithful spouses, this is a fairly usual response to infidelity discovery. Your world … Continue reading “Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?”

Cheaters and their wicked nature

Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. -I Samuel 25:3, KJV This verse comes at the … Continue reading “Cheaters and their wicked nature”

Unrepentant Adultery Is Always Damnable, Not Divorce!

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV Divorce is not always a sin. If it was, then the author of Jeremiah … Continue reading “Unrepentant Adultery Is Always Damnable, Not Divorce!”