Cheaters often use anger as a way to avoid responsibility. You might have caught them red handed. Instead of repenting then and there, they turn on you with anger: -Maybe they blame you for “snooping” or otherwise invading their sacred privacy? -Maybe they use the occasion to say you forced them into this (sin)? -Maybe … Continue reading “Outrage of Cheaters”
Author: Divorce Minister
Sickening Smugness Among “Christians”
Smug, married Christians act intolerably towards faithful spouses hemorrhaging from soul rape. These are “know it all” Christians who think all that proceeds from their mouths is gold. They are the “wise” ones in their eyes. The reality is what proceeds from their mouths would be better used to fertilize the fields. These smug people … Continue reading “Sickening Smugness Among “Christians””
Still evil
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. -Genesis 50:20, KJV Just because God redeems a horrible situation does NOT mean the original sin is less than evil. God can take the discovery of adultery … Continue reading “Still evil”
Is there an “innocent party” in a divorce?
Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble is winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent party and the perpetrator. Now, I understand those who say we all contribute to our marriage relationship. … Continue reading “Is there an “innocent party” in a divorce?”
Not entitled to your agreement!
While an abusive cheater may act otherwise, he or she is NOT entitled to your agreement. They might want you to agree to a blasé narrative about why you are divorcing absent all mention of their marriage-ending sin. They might want you to agree to never bring up the cheater partner. They might want you … Continue reading “Not entitled to your agreement!”
Marriage counseling is not magic. Therapy is not enough.
If attending pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and individual therapy could make a good marriage, then my first marriage ought to have been amazing. It wasn’t. Instead, my current marriage with Mrs. DM–where we have attended nearly zero therapy sessions together–is thriving. What’s my point? Attending therapy does not make a good marriage. Other elements are … Continue reading “Marriage counseling is not magic. Therapy is not enough.”
Hymn Encouragement: When through fiery trials…
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.” -“How Firm a Foundation” (Public Domain) Discovering a spouse’s infidelity certainly qualifies as a “fiery trial!” I love the following line about … Continue reading “Hymn Encouragement: When through fiery trials…”
Gentle Reminder: You CAN choose to disagree!
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “Gentle Reminder: You CAN choose to disagree!”
A real apology or a real manipulation?
Yesterday, I stumbled over an excellent article about the art of making good apologies plus how to recognize non-apologies. The article is: “How to Recognize—and Respond to—a Fake Apology: Before accepting an apology, you first have to determine if it’s genuine.” By Molly Howes, Ph.D. I recommend reading it. This both helps in spotting manipulations … Continue reading “A real apology or a real manipulation?”
Spiritually Dangerous!
“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars–they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” -Revelations 21:8, NIV (emphasis mine) What if pastors led with this verse from Jesus to cheaters as opposed … Continue reading “Spiritually Dangerous!”