PSA: Don’t use your cheater’s individual therapist!

Public Service Announcement: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for couple’s counseling! One of my many mistakes with my first marriage’s demise was agreeing to see my (now ex) wife’s individual therapist for couple’s counseling. The therapist and her had worked with each other for months, if not years, by that point. I knew … Continue reading “PSA: Don’t use your cheater’s individual therapist!”

Christians repent of considering adultery!

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT While we are all capable of adultery (when married), a person who follows Christ recognizes such as sin immediately and repents of entertaining the idea if it … Continue reading “Christians repent of considering adultery!”

Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…

Dear DM, If adultery breaks and destroys the marriage covenant, what happens to couples who don’t divorce, forgiveness is shown, and then go on to reconcile? Does the marriage covenant just magically become whole again after it was destroyed? It’s all so confusing. Thank you. -Hett Dear Hett, Thanks for your questions. As these were … Continue reading “Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…”

Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?

Greetings DM. Your blog is so comforting for those that have been soul raped and beaten up by the Church, but I must admit that I’m in a kind of a dissonant situation, I was my whole Christian life taught that adultery break the marriage covenant, abandonment and in my very particular vision violence do … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?”

CHEATERS ARE DEFYING GOD

“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “CHEATERS ARE DEFYING GOD”

“Kid” glove approach because the cheater is a woman

“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her,     for she is not my wife,     and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face     and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV Pastors and other Christian counselors have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female cheaters. It is a kid gloves … Continue reading ““Kid” glove approach because the cheater is a woman”

Lack of self-esteem? Really?!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV While a cheater might blame their cheating on a lack of self-esteem, I find this excuse rather lame. They “esteemed” themselves so much that they took or gave what did not belong … Continue reading “Lack of self-esteem? Really?!”

Let’s call it what it is: Adultery!

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, KJV Adultery is… “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.” -from dictionary.com Cheaters are all about making up their own private definitions of adultery or cheating. Those “definitions” exist to “excuse” inexcusable, sinful behavior. A cheater might say such … Continue reading “Let’s call it what it is: Adultery!”