Mailbag: I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor. [UPDATED]

SB wrote in a comment, I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor.  I am a wrenched woman, I know I am wrong and am in sin.  After reading several of your blogs, I need your help to end the affair the Godly way.  I am not afraid of the consequences because … Continue reading “Mailbag: I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor. [UPDATED]”

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

WE ARE EMBODIED CREATURES We are all individuals. As such, we all respond to stress differently. I remember losing ten pounds in two weeks after discovering the damning evidence of my (then) spouse’s sexual union with another man. It was shocking to say the least. And I lost my appetite to put it mildly. Self … Continue reading “Exercise, Exercise, Exercise”

The Happiness Narrative

I ran across an article on published yesterday by an admitted adulteress. At least, she admits to cheating on her-then-husband. Here’s the link to the article: My Husband Learned The Hard Way Why Women Cheat | YourTango. Marina Pearson, the author, actually has some good points in what she writes. I agree with her statement about her … Continue reading “The Happiness Narrative”

Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. – I John 4:18, ESV This past weekend I was at a married men’s retreat with men from my home church. At such an event, I sometimes … Continue reading “Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage”

Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie

And why not do evil that good may come?—as some people slanderously charge us with saying. Their condemnation is just. – Romans 3:8, ESV If you are at all like me, this seems like a strange argument for the Apostle Paul to be addressing in his letter to the Romans. However, my eyes were open … Continue reading “Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie”

Who To Tell Your Struggle

Brene Brown has some excellent resources on dealing with shame. She is not approaching this subject as a Christian pastor per se. She is a researcher. But she has some excellent insights that I found personally helpful. Three of her books, I highly recommend. The Gifts of Imperfection, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it … Continue reading “Who To Tell Your Struggle”

Must Be Therapeutic For Him…

While this is not directed at anyone in particular (I have heard these comments from several quarters), I wanted to make a statement, again, as to why I am blogging. I am responding to those who suggest I am doing this for my own therapeutic gain. This is a misunderstanding of my purpose. To be … Continue reading “Must Be Therapeutic For Him…”

Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse?

My post yesterday has raised questions about remarriage for the adulterous spouse and pool of divorced potential mates for divorced faithful spouses (see comments on this post here). I am going to summarize those questions into this one question: Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse? First, this statement only makes sense asking a … Continue reading “Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse?”

Mailbag: If you have wronged someone you should seek to make amends to that person?

Another comment I am answering for today’s post: DM, Thank you for your encouragement. It has given me strength along with other Christ centered people around me to see my X Husband for who he really is. So 14 months post d’Day and my Ex stated to me today that he has moved on (with … Continue reading “Mailbag: If you have wronged someone you should seek to make amends to that person?”

The Awful Truth

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,     but an enemy multiplies kisses. -Proverbs 27:6, NIV Knowing the truth is freeing. But this is often denied faithful spouses as their world is caved in by the terrors of trickling truth and horrors of betrayals both large and small. I can still vividly remember feeling the shock. … Continue reading “The Awful Truth”