Who is eligible for forgiveness per Jesus? The repentant.

It was also written that this message would be proclaimed in the authority of his name to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent.’ -Luke 24:47, NLT Often faithful spouses are pushed to forgive with no reference to the cheater’s repentance. As these words attributed to Jesus by … Continue reading “Who is eligible for forgiveness per Jesus? The repentant.”

Like talking about squeaky floor boards…

Cheater apologists are quick to point at the flaws in the marriage and blame the faithful spouse “for their part.” This is foolishness parading as wisdom. Sometimes metaphors help us understand how foolish some things actually are: The marriage is a house. This house has needed updates. For example, it needs new windows, a fresh … Continue reading “Like talking about squeaky floor boards…”

Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend. I can have friends, right?!!”

        Faithful Spouse: Who is he then? Cheater: A friend. Can’t I have friends? This is a common cheater ploy. They attempt to minimize the nature of their relationship with the affair partner. He (or she) is presented as “a friend.” Then they might go on the offensive accusing the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend. I can have friends, right?!!””

If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.

“If only I had learned to ____ quicker, my marriage might not have ended.” -Faithful Spouse Spinning While understandable, this sort of thinking is just another form of “The Shared Responsibility Lie.” The faithful spouse is sharing responsibility for the choices and sins of their ex-spouse. I hate to break the news, but we are … Continue reading “If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.”

PSA: Forgiveness does not have the power to alter historical facts!

It still feels strange for me to even speak about how my first marriage ended. I feel internal pressure and accusation as if speaking the facts means I have not forgiven her or am bitter. That’s a lie, by the way. But it is a hard one to shake growing up amidst a Christian subculture … Continue reading “PSA: Forgiveness does not have the power to alter historical facts!”

The “not a problem” problem

“This is the way of an adulterous woman:     She eats and wipes her mouth     and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV The “Not a Problem” Problem Some cheaters are so far gone that they genuinely see no problem in cheating. They have believed the lies “justifying” their wicked sins. This is a problem. … Continue reading “The “not a problem” problem”

Presuming too much?! Enough is enough.

Are you not to judge those inside [the church]? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” -I Corinthians 5:12b-13, NIV Is enough ever enough to stop enabling cheaters in the church? I am so thankful for God’s extravagant mercy and grace. It is what made the way for me to have … Continue reading “Presuming too much?! Enough is enough.”

Another Hillsong employee involved in sexual misconduct

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. -Ephesians 5:3, NLT “Jason grabbed me, putting his hand between my legs and his head on my stomach and began kissing my stomach. I felt his arms and hands wrapped around my legs making contact with … Continue reading “Another Hillsong employee involved in sexual misconduct”

The psalmist would not tolerate cheaters.

No one who practices deceit     will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely     will stand in my presence. -Psalm 101:7, NIV When the Psalmist wrote this verse, he spoke into the context of emulating God’s character of love and justice (see Psalm 101:1). One thing is true about all cheaters: All Cheaters lie … Continue reading “The psalmist would not tolerate cheaters.”