The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it. -Proverbs 9:13, NLT I think cheaters have to be very spiritually and emotionally sick to do what they do. The Bible teaches that marriage makes the couple one. So, a cheater is–in effect–mortally harming himself or herself in the act of cheating. … Continue reading “Cold and Blind Cheaters”
Divorce Minister is a Gospel Ministry
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the … Continue reading “Divorce Minister is a Gospel Ministry”
Magnifying your “sins”
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A cheater is often eager, usually, to magnify your flaws or sins–this is especially true when you both are talking with a pastor or counselor. Why? It … Continue reading “Magnifying your “sins””
The Broken Vase Parable
Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “The Broken Vase Parable”
Toppling the giant named “FEAR”
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. – Proverbs 29:25, NKJV -Are you anxious? -Do you worry about what crazy thing … Continue reading “Toppling the giant named “FEAR””
Cheaters are users.
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT Cheaters are entitled users. They bank on the faithful spouse trusting them to continue their deceptions without consequences (like a divorce and all that comes with that). In other words, they … Continue reading “Cheaters are users.”
Advice from a non-therapist…
The following lesson is a lesson I learned the hard way: Be choosy as it comes to who you use as a marriage therapist (if you choose to go that route and the cheater is willing). If the counselor has been your cheater’s individual therapist, they are not suited to help you both as a … Continue reading “Advice from a non-therapist…”
The “Unmet Needs” Theory (aka lie)
The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading “The “Unmet Needs” Theory (aka lie)”
Judge-y: “I’m concerned.”
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” -Matthew 7:1-2, KJV A common annoyance I encounter–and suspect other faithful spouses encounter as well–are Christians giving their unsolicited assessment of my state of healing. They … Continue reading “Judge-y: “I’m concerned.””
Well, are you without sin?
“She has been cheating on me these last few months. I can’t stay married to her considering all of that,” says the faithful spouse. “Don’t be so hasty. After all, are you without sin?” says the cheater apologist. Such a response from a “Christian” cheater apologist is far from helpful. Not all sins have the … Continue reading “Well, are you without sin?”