On envying cheater prosperity

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless.  -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this … Continue reading “On envying cheater prosperity”

Expect to lose some “friends”

You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes. -2 Timothy 1:15, NIV Not all your “friends” before the infidelity discovery will remain your friends afterwards. This is a hard truth to accept. Yet it is a reality best accepted to avoid further heartache. I think this is one of … Continue reading “Expect to lose some “friends””

Bondage-Breaking Music

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:15, NLT Music is powerful. It moves the soul. Plato recognized this writing about controlling what music one heard as part of his … Continue reading “Bondage-Breaking Music”

You have already passed the most important judgement!

Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. -Romans 8:34, NIV When I was driving one day listening to some worship music, I was struck with this thought: The most important judgment about … Continue reading “You have already passed the most important judgement!”

Cheater-Speak: “Telling him (about the affair) would be selfish.”

  “Telling him (about the affair) would be selfish. That would ruin our marriage.” – Cheater What a twisted lie people tell themselves and others! Think if we applied this lie to a different situation: Someone embezzles tens of thousands from your friend’s retirement account. They are a “good” criminal and know how to hide … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Telling him (about the affair) would be selfish.””

Clueless Christian: What did you learn from that?

“I’ll tell you by what authority I do these things if you answer one question,” Jesus replied. -Mark 11:29, NLT “What did you learn about yourself from your divorce?” – Clueless Christian (asking Faithful Spouse) Context matters. I have no problem asking honest questions coming from a humble or genuine place of interest. What I … Continue reading “Clueless Christian: What did you learn from that?”

Not Blaming: Who does it benefit?

Not Blaming: Who does it benefit? I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater. They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility for … Continue reading “Not Blaming: Who does it benefit?”

Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!

 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”

In defense of blaming

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV Secular and–sadly–some “Christian” circles have a tendency to talk about divorce as devoid of blame. It is … Continue reading “In defense of blaming”

THAT “Christian”

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -I John 3:18, NIV There is a type. Something was “off” with him. Sure, this person had all the appearances of righteous Christian. He talked about “grace” and “repentance.” Yet something did not “square.” His words and actions, ultimately, did … Continue reading “THAT “Christian””