Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death”

Grief and Forgiveness

“My soul refused to be comforted.” – Psalm 77:2b (NASB). “‘For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.’” – Jesus (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB). I suspect that most Christian survivors of adultery have been told that they have to … Continue reading “Grief and Forgiveness”

Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.”

Below is an exchange between myself and another pastor on my post: “Divorce is not sin.” It is shared with permission from Bruce. David, Good morning and thank you for sharing your thoughts, spoken out of your own pain and theological wrestling. I have some follow-up questions for you to ponder as you continue to … Continue reading “Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.””

The Great Reconciler False Assumption

Assumption: Divorced Christians have a moral imperative to remain open to remarrying their former spouse regardless of circumstances of the divorce until that former spouse remarries since they are called to emulate God’s character of being the Great Reconciler (II Corinthians 5:18).   False. God is holy and jealous. He is the same in both … Continue reading “The Great Reconciler False Assumption”

Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!

~~~ One of the most humbling things that I was forced to do in light of my ex’s infidelity was to go to a clinic to be tested for STDs. It was humiliating. I was there due to my ex’s moral failures and lies. A medical professional advised me to get tested. I knew my … Continue reading “Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!”

Buffet of Bad Options

“‘If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB.   While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many … Continue reading “Buffet of Bad Options”

Mrs. Divorce Minister Speaks

  Guest post from my wife today. Good stuff! Here you go:   Pain is something that we all feel. It’s also something that we seem to try so desperately to avoid. Pain sucks. Yes. We all understand that. Yet the pain we go through is also the key piece when it comes to ministry, … Continue reading “Mrs. Divorce Minister Speaks”

Adultery Is Downright Demonic!

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” – John 8:44, NASB. If … Continue reading “Adultery Is Downright Demonic!”

Faithful Spouses And Letting Go of False Guilt

So, you find yourself stuck. You know in your head that you did not cause your spouse’s infidelity… But…and it is a BIG BUT… You still feel guilty. You wonder if you could have prevented the adultery by doing something(s) better. You have a bad case of the “if only’s” and possibly you still FEEL … Continue reading “Faithful Spouses And Letting Go of False Guilt”