A Survey Alert From Chump Lady

Today, Chump Lady passed along a survey that an eager graduate student in psychology is doing on infidelity. Here is the link to Chump Lady’s post: http://chumplady.com/2014/07/forgiveness-troll-says-take-a-survey/ Below I am quoting from Chump Lady’s post where she agrees to take the survey and post it to her readership:   Then when I finished the survey, I … Continue reading “A Survey Alert From Chump Lady”

You Never Really “Get Over It”

All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. – Genesis 37:35, NIV   Perhaps, I have grief on my mind today as I did a funeral and graveside service this … Continue reading “You Never Really “Get Over It””

Failed Marriage, I Think Not

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “The Marriage Failed.” Yeah, right! Today, I am writing about a certain psycho-babble used to help everyone avoid unpleasant discussions surrounding divorce. “The marriage failed.” It tried very hard…poor thing…but ultimately … Continue reading “Failed Marriage, I Think Not”

Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death”

Grief and Forgiveness

“My soul refused to be comforted.” – Psalm 77:2b (NASB). “‘For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.’” – Jesus (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB). I suspect that most Christian survivors of adultery have been told that they have to … Continue reading “Grief and Forgiveness”

Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.”

Below is an exchange between myself and another pastor on my post: “Divorce is not sin.” It is shared with permission from Bruce. David, Good morning and thank you for sharing your thoughts, spoken out of your own pain and theological wrestling. I have some follow-up questions for you to ponder as you continue to … Continue reading “Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.””

The Great Reconciler False Assumption

Assumption: Divorced Christians have a moral imperative to remain open to remarrying their former spouse regardless of circumstances of the divorce until that former spouse remarries since they are called to emulate God’s character of being the Great Reconciler (II Corinthians 5:18).   False. God is holy and jealous. He is the same in both … Continue reading “The Great Reconciler False Assumption”

Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!

~~~ One of the most humbling things that I was forced to do in light of my ex’s infidelity was to go to a clinic to be tested for STDs. It was humiliating. I was there due to my ex’s moral failures and lies. A medical professional advised me to get tested. I knew my … Continue reading “Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!”