Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.
-Proverbs 26:12, NIV
Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.
-Psalm 138:6, KJV
Beware of the proud in-law.
These are the sort of people that think they know how to fix your marriage issues. Their cheating child isn’t the problem, and it all has to do with getting the adultery victim to do things differently. They refuse to accept reality that their child just made choices to totally drive the marriage in the ditch.
I know I engaged with my (now) former in-laws far too much while my marriage dissolved. What I “won” from such interactions were theologically framed lectures about how I needed to repent and what love really looks like all while their daughter was cheating with another man!
To say such conversations were unproductive would be a real understatement.
Pride is the real issue in such interactions. The in-law is unwilling to accept reality. They do not want to think they raised a child who perpetrated such evil. And/or they do not want to see their child hurt anymore. So, they off-load their guilt and denial upon the faithful spouse. They hope such a move will alleviate the pain their child is experiencing due to his/her own choices and actions!
In a sense, they are worshiping an idol–i.e. their own “perfect” parent image. They will not accept the reality that their child perpetrated evil–i.e. committed adultery–because that means accepting a new identity–namely, being a parent of a cheater. That is a threat to their idol; so, they decide to blame the faithful spouse for their child’s behavior.
To be clear: Parents are not responsible for their adult children’s choices and actions (e.g. Ezekiel 18:20).
However, that truth does not excuse said parents for sinning further against their son or daughter-in-law by blaming and otherwise attacking them for their child’s infidelity and its destruction.
Humility is warranted in such situations. Not pride.