When one of you has a dispute with another believer, how dare you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter instead of taking it to other believers!
– I Corinthians 6:1, NLT
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”
-Matthew 10:16, KJV
In some Christian circles, pressure is applied on faithful spouses to mediate their divorce. They point to the I Corinthians 6 passage as precedence as to why Christians ought not to use lawyers even in the situation of divorcing an adulterous spouse. Plus, they make note that a lawyer costs a good deal and mediation may be cheaper.
I am an ordained minister, and I am glad I got a lawyer for my divorce.
I Corinthians 6 applies only if both parties are Christians. It assumes both are attending the same church; plus, it assumes the church has expelled the sexually immoral as the Apostle Paul taught in just the previous chapter about not even eating with such a “Christian.”
Finally, I Corinthians 6 calls into question anyone’s salvation who persists in adulterous sin (see I Corinthians 6:9-10). So, that alone calls into question whether this is even a dispute between two Believers. I Corinthians 6:1- 8 does not apply.
In other words, the secular courts is the proper venue to deal with such matters.
From a wisdom standpoint, it is wise to hire a divorce lawyer when dealing with someone who is demonstratively adept at lying and deceiving.
This person has just demonstrated a willingness to violate the most sacred of human vows–i.e. their marriage vows–in order to satisfy their own selfish desires. It is foolish to assume they won’t simply follow their own selfish desires in a similar thing in other areas like finances or child-custody issues.
In fact, some cheaters have already cheated majorly on finances as well.
Putting the situations into the law court forces rules that cheaters do not get to set. They violate these rules, and they may face severe consequences. Cheaters no longer are able to make it up as they go.
This is not a high school sweetheart break up. We are talking about the ending of a marriage plus the splitting up of major assets, debts, and time with kids in some cases.
It is just dumb to assume a cheater will play fairly in such matters. They need accountability. Making it a legal matter forces such accountability. In other words, our court system is imperfect, but it better that then being left at the whims and mercy of a cheater.
That is why I encourage people to find a divorce lawyer when going through a divorce even if–as it was in my case–this lawyer is just a flat fee one.
The peace of mind is worth it!