I speak as an evangelical chaplain.


I am an evangelical, ordained minister and professional chaplain.

This website tackles infidelity from those lenses.

I maintain that the Bible has plenty to say on the topics of adultery, abandonment, and divorce to correct what currently is out there for faithful spouses.

In launching this blog, I am attempting to provide healing words to infidelity victims as well as to help other Christian practitioners learn how to provide competent spiritual care for people experiencing such trauma.

As an evangelical, I look to God as revealed in the Bible as the ultimate authority on matters regarding adultery, abandonment, and divorce (as well as all other areas, for that matter). While I am not threatened by findings in sociology, psychology, or other social sciences, I also do not regard them as trumping what I see revealed in Scripture.

I am not a psychologist.

I am not a sociologist.

I am not even a marriage therapist.

I am a pastor. A chaplain.

So, I write and speak as such.

And I write as a faithful spouse.

Because I am, also, an adultery, abandonment, and divorce survivor.

I write as one who has had these dark experiences and seen what toxic pastoral care is like as a faithful spouse. This blog is written as a corrective to such poor spiritual care and bad teaching. And it is a place for the battered souls of faithful spouses to find support and safety.

So, if you see me treating psychology, sociology, etc as less than authoritative on this website, it is because I view them as less authoritative than Scripture. That ought not to come as a surprise.

A scientist will look to science as authoritative.

A historian will look to historical records as authoritative.

An evangelical pastor will look to the Bible as authoritative.

And that is how Divorce Minister rolls…





4 thoughts on “I speak as an evangelical chaplain.”

  1. I appreciate your blog and read every post. I am neither evangelical nor especially devout, but I was married in the Church and I did take my marriage vows seriously. It is good to hear the perspective of a minister (even one from another denomination) and that is exactly why I read your blog. Not because I am looking for a sociologist’s or psychologist’s or marriage therapist’s view. I value your opinion and interpretation of the Scripture. Your words have given me comfort during a time when I have struggled with my decision to divorce my unfaithful and abusive husband. Even though my own priest has been unwavering in his support and adamant view that I should divorce my husband, it has still been difficult for me to say goodbye to my marriage – I keep thinking “what else could I have done to save the marriage?” even though my husband’s infidelity began while we were still dating. Your regular blog posts have been so reassuring to me that I made the right decision. Thank you.

  2. Amen! I too wondered what I could have done to save my marriage. Then I found out that my ex is in an open marriage yet he still managed to cheat. He even kicked his current wife out of the house to move his new girlfriend in for a while. Then, he found out the girlfriend was cheating. So, he moved the wife back in and demanded she give up the boyfriend. She decided it was her turn to cheat. All this drama belongs in a soap opera – not my life. I no longer wonder what else I could have done to save it. Now, I’m relieved that it ended.

  3. Bravo!
    Thank you DM for keeping to the Bible and your personal experiences. Your blog has been a life saver for me and allows me to have a tactile response to the questions I pray about.

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