I “Yell” Because, I Care


“I yell, because I care.”

That’s what was written on the t-shirt worn by one of my old high school football coaches, a big man who taught offensive and defensive linemen. He was full of “gems” of wisdom like this. I remember him telling us that he only needs six friends because that’s all he needs to carry his coffin. And the slots are full. Ha!

I digress. Anyways, I am writing this post to address the feedback I have received from various sources about the harsh or angry tone of my postings.

My response: “I ‘yell,’ because I care.”

I “yell” because I have witnessed and experienced the devastation of adultery in my life and others. Too often, the faithful spouse is silenced or blamed for this. I speak up for them as God calls us to speak up for the vulnerable.

I “yell” because I care about those caught in Satan’s sin enabling lies about adultery. Without taking full responsibility for the sin and associated sins (e.g. lying), an adulterer or adulteress has no hope of escaping Hell as he/she will thus be unable to repent. Yes, you heard me right: I “yell,” because I care about the souls of adulterers and adulteresses as well.

I “yell” because I care deeply about God’s heart on these matters. He calls us to holiness and fills the Bible with instruction on what that looks like. God does not mince words about adultery. He is very stern and angry in His warnings on the matter. As a minister of God, I am called to preach the Word, and this is an important part of it, which has been neglected for too long.

I “yell” because my voice is like a lone voice in the wilderness. For every one of me pointing out the clear teachings on divorce and adultery in Scripture, people will find ten or a dozen others guilting or shaming a faithful spouse into accepting blame for his/her spouse cheating and/or considering divorce afterwards. And that is not even talking about the “voices” in the faithful spouses’ heads attacking their worth and causing confusion at a time when clear thinking is much needed. I hope my passionate voice helps drown out those voices of destruction and encourages the faithful spouse forward to healing and wholeness in Christ.

I “yell” because I care about the children who became collateral damage to a parent’s selfish choices to cheat. Their voices are too often ignored in the discussion about adultery and divorce–i.e. other than to guilt faithful spouses into staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. Adultery is not a slip up or a “mistake.” It is selfish sin. And that sin hurts many, many people including the kids. Maybe if this was taught from the pulpit more frequently, people would think twice about cheating. I don’t know. Regardless, it is a message worth saying.

I care deeply about this subject, and I care deeply about those who find themselves in these difficult places. I make no apologies for being a passionate man. And I make no apologies for standing firm in my convictions about what Scripture says about these things.

Call me angry or too stern…it matters not.

“I yell, because I care.”

2 thoughts on “I “Yell” Because, I Care”

  1. Obviously, these people have not worn the shoes of surviving adultery. Because what I hear them saying to you DM, is what s the big deal? Move on.

    Adultery and the devastation it wreaks should anger people. The family is the backbone of the community. Adultery is a direct attack on the family unit. How can one not get angry when you see the consequences and understand how profoundly the unit is wounded by the actions of incredibly and totally selfish people. The wounds reverberate throughout the community.

    You have made the distinction between righteous and revengeful anger. Stating something is wrong with some powerful biblical illustrations is quite different than encouraging snarky remarks. Righteous anger can be extraordinarily “loud”, because in its dignity, the words are powerful in and of themselves.

    1. Thanks, M. Obviously, I agree with you. And I think the criticisms I have heard come from various places from discomfort over the topic to discomfort over anger in general. Anger is a greatly misunderstood emotion within Christianity, and that misunderstanding is VERY evident over issues which warrant righteous anger like adultery.

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