For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
– 2 Timothy 1:7, KJV
One of the beautiful things about true Christianity is that Christians serve a living and active God. God moves in the hearts and lives of those God has chosen as His own. Or to put it the way Jesus does, His sheep hear God’s voice (see John 10).
My point here is to encourage you to listen to God’s voice.
More specifically, I hope you tune yourself into the Holy Spirit. This is especially important to do when deciding whether or not to divorce following infidelity. Don’t rush to a decision but listen. Take in the evidence you need and seek God’s voice.
Also, recognize your enemy, Satan, will try to confuse you and control you–e.g. with the lie that divorce after adultery is sin–to destroy you in this time. God is not one who uses fear to control you (see post here). As the Apostle Paul teaches in his second letter to Timothy, God’s Spirit is one filled with love, power, and a sound mind or self-control.
God does not condemn His children that He bought with His Son’s precious blood.
Do not listen to the condemning voice.
That’s the Enemy speaking.
Look for the fruit of the Spirit–i.e. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control–when trying to discern God’s voice.
As I have written elsewhere here, my hope for each faithful spouse is that he or she follows their conscience and finds peace even if they must make a difficult choice.
Personally, I do not see any good choices left after infidelity has occurred in a marriage (see here). And divorce is an option–a merciful one in many cases–for the faithful spouse at anytime without shame (see Mt 5:32, etc.).