But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.
-I Timothy 5:20, NIV
The risk I run by continuing this ministry is experiencing the judgment and condemnation of others.
“He must be bitter.”
“I am concerned about his new family. He you would think he would have moved on by now. This isn’t healthy.”
“Airing dirty laundry is not how a Christian minister should behave.”
You get the idea…
Church people would prefer faithful spouses keep silent about adultery. They do not like having to face the ugliness of adultery’s fallout. It is not a topic for polite, ankle-length denim dress Christian circles. Instead, church people would prefer a world where adultery is not mentioned.
The problem with with a church world where adultery is not named is multifold:
1. God talks about adultery all through the Bible. To not talk about adultery is to fail to teach on a matter God found important enough to mention multiple times in the Bible.
2. Silence makes the Church complicit in shaming the faithful spouse and family for being sinned against. It enables the cheater to continue the abuse and control the narrative. In fact, the cheater is emboldened by the silence to feel entitled to avoiding all consequences to their sins. This includes avoiding being known for their evil deeds.
3. People are not warned about the spiritual dangers adultery poses, which is a pastoral failure. The cheating party is not served by this silence when it comes to eternity. They are going down a path marked with destruction for others and themselves. A godly person who cared would warn them and would not keep silent.
I continue this ministry because I know God continues to use it to bring life to those who need it. Sure, it would be more convenient for me to stop blogging and direct my energies elsewhere. However, I continue this ministry because I feel God called and equipped me specifically to help people struggling with the issues surrounding infidelity and divorce. So, I will continue even if that means some will judge me.
There are very few people who will call the sin of adultery for what it is. We faithful spouses appreciate your blog and your willingness to speak the truth.
Amen.