Marry Someone Who Is NOT Ambivalent

When choosing a spouse, I recommend NOT marrying someone who demonstrates ambivalence about the union.

This is a lesson I learned from my first marriage ending. When you are with someone who is less than eager to “tie the knot,” it may spell problems down the road.

Besides, you are worth being with someone who wants to be with you. You are a prize, faithful spouse!

The problem arises when troubles come. A less than eager bride or groom might have a different perception of what happened on the wedding day.

When one party has to push and push to get married, a danger is that the other party might treat the union as one “forced” upon them (even though, it wasn’t). 

Spouses who think this way are not owning their own agency in getting married. This means they are not owning the marriage commitment either.

I will let you figure out what happens next in that environment…

So, the long and short is to marry someone who is excited to be married to you. Ambivalence up front might foreshadow some nasty surprises later down the road.

Take it from one who has “been there.”

1 thought on “Marry Someone Who Is NOT Ambivalent”

  1. This is very good advice about ambivalence. And it works just as well when applied in reverse…

    When a person has feelings of ambivalence about their significant other and the relationship (insecurity, unease, confusion, doubt, mixed feelings, red flags, etc.) but can’t quite define what is wrong….or, knows what is wrong but minimizes it and still desires their SO…

    This is a sure warning sign in my opinion that there is something not right about the relationship.

    At a minimum the couple are not suited, but it could be very likely that the partner is a manipulative and destructive person.

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