Must Be Therapeutic For Him…


While this is not directed at anyone in particular (I have heard these comments from several quarters), I wanted to make a statement, again, as to why I am blogging. I am responding to those who suggest I am doing this for my own therapeutic gain. This is a misunderstanding of my purpose.

To be clear: I am not writing this blog for personal gain either therapeutically or financially.

If my purpose was therapeutic, I would write in my own private journal. I would not be going public as I am in this blog. My purpose in writing this blog is about giving back to faithful spouses in need and trying to correct a horrific problem in our churches. The problem–as I see it–is a church where adultery is not taken seriously and where a woeful naivete concerning this sin reigns supreme destroying lives plus families. This is why the blog is tagged: Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously.

Besides feeling called by God to start this blog and ministry, I started this blog for the following Biblical reasons:

1. To comfort others from the comfort God has given me while I was in the valleys of adultery discovery and divorce (see 2 Cor 1:3-4).

A huge part of ministry is reminding people they are not alone and not crazy for feeling the way they do. I write this blog as a way to testify to God’s faithfulness and to extend hope to those who need reminding of the truth of God’s presence plus love. Mrs. DM joins me in this mission of extending comfort from both of our stories. We have experienced God’s comfort in our lives and want others to experience that comfort as well. This blog and ministry is one way we are able to do so.

2. To expose adultery–i.e. sin–to light (Ephesian 5:11).

Part of my education through my first marriage was becoming wise to worldly ways and no longer simple or naive. These are times when Christian leaders cannot afford to be naive. They need to understand the lies of Satan. And we need to be equipped to recognize what the real threats are. Sound teaching is a must on this subject, which is too often neglected. Sin must be exposed to light. It is only with it exposed do we have hope of sin being addressed and healing to begin.

3. Encourage, rebuke, and correct (2 Timothy 4:2).

This is simply a charge to be a pastor given by the Apostle Paul to Timothy. And he follows this charge with a warning that the time is coming when people will no longer listen but rather only to listen to what they want to hear. Sound teaching on adultery and responding to adultery in regards to divorce is so needed. I am simply living out my charge as a pastor in providing to the best of my ability such teaching.

Does the blog benefit my heart and my healing? Of course, it does. We all find healing as we help others. I am convinced. That is a side benefit. The blog was certainly not founded for such a side benefit. It is just one of those side blessings that come with being faithful to God’s call.

6 thoughts on “Must Be Therapeutic For Him…”

  1. Thank you for your extremely important blog. You are the only Scripturally-based voice out there (as far as I know), and your blogs are greatly appreciated by hurting people. You are doing an immense service to faithful spouses, who are grateful to hear affirmed God’s unambiguous denunciation of adultery, as well as to hear reminders of His love, comfort and provision for them. God has given you a unique ministry and your blog is a healing balm to many wounded souls! May God bless you abundantly!

  2. DM,
    My response on behalf of you – not that you need anyone to plead your case…is who cares? But more to the point, if the blog were not of His blessings, it would not have grown. The naysayers are trying to insert fear and mistrust. I am soooo grateful my cousin pointed this blog out. Ditto to everything marilyndikkers said. This blog is needed, it so clearly articulates for folks who are not as well versed in Scripture to understand better Our Lord s Word on such an important topic. It is important because of the devastation adultery wreaks on the family – the basic unit of society. All more important this topic is dealt with honestly in The Lord s light. Thank you for what you do for us!

    1. True, Mommythree. Sometimes I think it is healthy to spit out what is unhelpful feedback. Plus, I think clarifying why I do this is good, too. Thanks for your kind words!

  3. So sorry to hear you are getting flack for helping people round the world. You have gone through it yourself and have so much of value to share, having come out the other end. I volunteer for a charity and help others going through something that I did, and part of our training is a debriefing, as i guess it is for ministry, of our own experiences, to help us process them so that we do not bring our own baggage into our helping situations, and you have done this. I have shared your blog with others who have found it really helpful. Many thanks

    1. Nell,

      The flack isn’t so bad in this case. People who say this are usually well-meaning and not attacking me personally. I recognize that. It is rather patronizing, but I do not think they intend it to be so. However, it still is.

      Thank you for sharing my blog with others and thank you for the kind feedback!

Comments are closed.