I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
-Psalm 139:14, KJV
Part of the healing journey after adultery discovery and divorce is learning and embracing the person God has made you to be. It means casting off the denigrating lies of the cheater and her cohorts. And it means learning to understand yourself and embrace how God has uniquely designed you.
When I was in undergrad, I developed a major choosing theory. I dubbed it, “The Dirty Nerdy Moment Theory.” Let me explain how the DNM Theory works:
First, I observed among my peers that certain subjects were energizing for some students whereas completely bores for others. My theory works off this observation.
If I am having “dirty nerdy” moments with great frequency among peers who are bored out of their minds, then that is a good indication that I am designed to enjoy and thrive with this particular subject matter.
Hence, the major selecting criteria for identifying one’s giftings and passions per subject matter selecting the major whose subject matter illicit the highest level of “dirty nerdy moments” in one.
Applied to real life outside of the academy, the DNM Theory provides a way for us to discover our passions and what sort of study or activity gives meaning to our lives. It does not have to be a full-time job. The DNM Theory applies to hobbies as well.
The beauty of this theory is how it takes what some might consider shameful–i.e. your dirty nerdy moments–and turns it into a vehicle for personal insight and growth. The more you embrace the amazing “nerd” that you are, the more you unlock the passions and unique destiny God has placed on your life.
Plus, you are no longer defined by what others think of you–cheater or otherwise–but rather by how internally you are wired. Outside opinion does not matter here.
I believe God gives us all DNMs, because I believe God had made us all unique and prepared unique works for us to do in advance (see Ephesians 2:10).