“MY money! MY Privacy!!”

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

-Luke 16:13, NLT

Cheaters are quick to play the “offended card” when caught cheating. They suddenly are emphatic about what is due to them while completely ignoring–ironically–how they have taken was was not theirs–i.e. the safety and intimacy due to their spouse.

“My money! My privacy!”

Such are words from cheaters who hate responsibility and being held accountable for their choices and actions.

They are angered that they have to deal with being caught–“My privacy!” However, they fail to see the irony of how they have violated the inner sanctum of the faithful spouse’s soul by cheating. Sharing private matters about the faithful spouse to their affair partner wasn’t a problem for them as long as they were the one doing the privacy violating.

Them getting caught by a snooping faithful spouse–who obviously had reason to be suspicious? It is suddenly a problem because their privacy was “violated.”

Money matters were a big battleground in my first marriage. I am convinced from my experiences plus exchanges that my ex and her family are worshipers of Mammon more than God. This prioritization of money matters was especially stark at the end of the marriage.

The cheater might show his or her hand by crying over having to hand over half of their money. “MY money!”  This goes back to cheaters failing to grasp how marriage means oneness in more than one way. It includes the financials. Whether or not one spouse earned more than the other, that money is “our” money being divided.

The “My money! My privacy!” statements serve to reveal the self-centered heart of a cheater.

They are not approaching the marriage as a team member. That whole oneness principle never really registered deep enough in them that they understood harming their spouse is harming themselves. Someone who truly grasped this principle would be less concerned about their privacy being violated and more concerned about how their actions deeply harmed their spouse.

Further, cheaters did not grasp that agreeing to marry someone meant becoming one with them financially to the point that “my money” was surrendered upon that marriage altar. This oneness is not a new idea as this oneness in finances is often explicitly expressed marriage ceremony with the ring exchange vows: “…all that I have I share with you.…”

Pastors, counselors, and faithful spouses, if you are hearing these words from a cheater: “My money! My privacy!” then be assured something is wickedly off in this person’s priorities. You cannot serve two masters.