On being a “Hur”


But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

-Exodus 17:12, KJV

In many ways, I view the ministry here on Divorce Minister as being one like that of Aaron and Hur that day long ago. I see this website as way to strengthen those fighting a difficult spiritual battle against the evils of infidelity. The words here I hope are giving faithful spouses and their supporters the courage and ability to finish this fight on top with the Lord’s help.

Reminding faithful spouses that the cheating was not their fault is an important way I try to help raise the arms of weary faithful spouses:

It’s not your fault! Not even a little bit.

God does not hold us responsible for the sin of someone else against us. That includes if that someone is a spouse. God holds us responsible for our own actions and sins (e.g. 2 Corinthians 5:10). The lie of shared responsibility where faithful spouses are assigned partial blame for being cheated upon and/or abandoned is just that:


Plus, as someone who has come out the other side by the grace of God, I am here to encourage you that an abundant life is a real possibility for you without the cheater even if you cannot see how right now. It does get better. And you are gold…never forget that, precious child of God!


4 thoughts on “On being a “Hur””

  1. Thank you for exposing lies and revealing truths! I had been fed so many lies for so long that they had become part of my belief system.

  2. Thank you, DM. Truly. I honestly felt I was being spiritually abused when my now ex and I were in marriage counseling after D-Day. He even at one point said something like, “you are only partially to blame.” NO! I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m not responsible for his choices and his sins. That’s on him!

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