Public Service Announcement:
In the room where divorced or nearly divorced Christians meet, you will likely find some who were discarded for another and abandoned against their will.
Pastors and other Christian leaders working with this population need to sensitize themselves to this reality. Not everyone at a divorce support group chose divorce.
Some of us were abandoned and even discarded for another person.
To talk about owning our part in decisions we did not make and in sins that were committed against us is cruel, insensitive, and ungodly!
It like talking to a mixed group of rapists and rape victims that everyone in the room contributed something to the rape. Trust me, it is that bad!
Adultery is soul rape. So, you can pretty much guarantee some in the divorced or nearly divorced group are the victims of said sin. And some may be the perpetrators.
A wise and godly pastor recognizes this diversity and realizes different populations need different pastoral approaches.
Adulterers and adulteresses need admonishment to repent. Adultery victims need encouragement and reminders of God’s love for them in the face of such devastating rejection.
To fall to see this important distinction is lazy work on the part of the Christian leader. So, it is no surprise sloppy spiritual diagnosis work leads to poor outcomes. That is what you get when you fail to work against the default prejudices at work in our current Christian subculture.