When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical.

Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers.

“Saving” a marriage in that sense is easy. You can shame people in “saving” their marriage, and plenty of pastors and counselors go the shaming route.

They teach that divorce is worse than adultery in those instances. After all, it is still a “saved marriage” even with ongoing adultery as long as they didn’t divorce!

Is preserving the marriage union more important than preserving the souls of the spouses’?

I think Scripture is clear that God prioritizes souls over marriages (Matthew 22:30). Marriage to another human is not preserved in the afterlife. Our souls are. That said, I think preserving a marriage is a good thing and often the godly path is preserving both.

But when we have to choose–as in a situation with ongoing adultery and lies–the choice to divorce and preserve the souls of the spouses’ is clearly the righteous one.

*A version of this post ran previously.