Somethings You Have To Know Yourself

A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.

-Proverbs 11:22, NLT

However good you are at surveillance, you will never find a way to monitor the heart. Nor should you.

A spouse ought to be able to trust that their partner will honor their vows to forsake all others.

I remember in high school youth group that the topic of interest was “how far was too far?” in a romantic relationship.

First base? Second base? Or only a “home run?”

A version of this discussion can play out in a marriage where one partner asks the other such a question in regards to outside relationships that have romantic potential.

I think such discussions miss an important point:

You don’t have to have hit a “home run” with another partner to have had a “home run” in your mind and heart already.

All the behavior rules in the world cannot stop the cheating heart. It is upon the partner to check their own heart.

What the “rules” do is to create an opportunity for deception–self and otherwise:

They create a thin veneer of legitimacy when the partner knows in her heart that she has failed “to forsake all others.” But I followed the rules and only met in public with him! 

Ultimately, we are responsible for our own choices and actions. Looking to rules or other people–even a spouse–to police them is a recipe for disaster.