A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
-Proverbs 17:22, NIV
Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature.
Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and bolts of therapy.
These questions cut to the heart of sin, evil, forgiveness, grief, reconciliation, and–generally speaking–right relationship to God.
People want to know if God will hold their divorce of a cheater against them.
People want to know if God is fine with the cheater because the cheater says God forgives them (without evidence of the cheater’s repentance).
People want to know what to do with those telling them that they have to take their cheater back like Hosea did Gomer.
These are questions for true pastors. Just reflecting back, “What do you think?” is not good enough!!
I created this blog to be a forum for such shepherding of souls. Pastors with unbiblical divorce prejudice are still too common. These are those who treat divorce as always wrong and push “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” which means they blame faithful partners for the sins of cheaters.
And some well-meaning pastors simply are not equipped or informed to provide the vital help faithful spouses (and cheaters) need.
They recognize that they dare not enter this world, which is much better than those who think they know something and project further damage upon the already traumatized spouse.
I write this simply to remind my brother and sister ministers that faithful spouses need your voice!
They are suffering on a spiritual level. A good therapist can only go so far with them.
They need someone who understands God’s heart towards them. This is a confusing time and having someone who can spot destructive lies about God (and others) is critical to healing.
Being cheated upon and divorced by an adulterous partner are not simply emotional traumas. They cut to our spiritual core. So, such experiences need to be processed at that level.