The Glorious Backfire

…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. – Hebrews 12:2-3, NIV


 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. – I Corinthians 1:22-25, NIV




God glories in the dramatic inversion. He takes those the world discards and uses them to bring a revolution. God brings forth beauty from ashes and glory from shame–even the shame of the cross.

As an evangelical minister, I felt like Satan threw everything and the kitchen sink to destroy me and any future ministry I might have. I am convinced he was aiming to kill me or minimally disqualify me from the ministry. Boy, did he underestimate my God!

Today, I glory in what some ministers consider their shame–i.e their divorced status. I am Divorce Minister.

I am divorced.

I am a minister.

And I minister to those who have had their hearts broken through the betrayal of adultery.

Far from disqualifying me, God inverted Satan’s orders and used the fire to uniquely qualify me as an evangelical minister to speak into this area of much need. I have authority to speak about the Gospel as I can testify how it literally saved my life. I have authority to talk about the devastation of adultery as I survived my ex’s infidelity.  I have authority to speak to unhelpful and unbiblical religious approaches to adultery and divorce as I experienced these firsthand.

And far from trashing my credentials and teaching me that my years in school were for naught, I walk forth in ministry with impeccable credentials from Carleton, Yale, and the Association of Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE). Plus, I have a wonderful job as a professional chaplain giving comfort to those in need. All these qualify me professionally to speak as a pastor and chaplain in to the subject of adultery and divorce.

God glories in the inversion.

The plot twist.

He is a dramatic God.

No matter where you are in your life.

The best chapters are yet to come…

Let God write your dramatic inversion!

We all now know He loves doing just that.

5 thoughts on “The Glorious Backfire”

  1. I’m behind on my blog reading. Thank you for this post. This is one of your most powerful yet, and something I needed to hear today.

  2. I was married going on 25 yrs this Dec..Husband seperated after a failed intervention to get him to seek treatment for his relapse back into drinking.He cheated right after moving out .If not before and I truly feel he could have. I am now realizing that he cheated pretty much each time he had relapsed. Long story short..he has gotten his recent whore pregnant and moved away for a job. He left me with many expenses and not much support.He is seeking to cheat me out of as much spousal support as he can.I was injured in auto and cant work yet.Cold every winter while he and his whores are warm and eat food that she be mine.He stole and spent our retirement in under a year ! Telling me it was his money. We are to go to court and I ask that God will defend me because I cant afford a snake of a lawyer like he can.He makes alot of money but cant support the choices he makes.So his solution is to cause me to live in poverty.He still drinks, its 3 years straight since we parted.He claimed many times he wanted to get back together but he couldnt deal with his drinking ,while continuing to sleep w/ cheap women that you could find in any sleazy bar.I really need prayer and for God to give me justice. I raised our kids up in the fear of the Lord and have tried hard to be a good example and be strong for them ,while going through hell with his addictions.Please, please pray that God will give me justice in court coming soon.My lawyer sounds like either its not likely to get much more support or he is secretly a male sympathizer.I’ve got to reach God’s mercy in this and I pray for my soon to be ex-husband, even though he’s done me pretty dirty.I feel I can say this w/ a clear conscious that he had no cause to treat me the way he has.I have been a good and supportive wife.God help me with upcoming court dates!

    1. Rosberry-you’re right, you can have a clear conscience. You did NOT cause him to cheat and he has zero legitimacy in his reasons to treat you as such. His actions show he has zero character, among other things. I can’t really pull off the candid potty mouth that Chump Lady has on this site, as much as I think it would fit. So I’ll have to leave that to your imagination and just say that we will send prayers your way for justice and God’s bounty bestowed on you.

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