The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know.
– Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), French Philosopher, Thoughts, #277
It was three years ago this past Monday…
….when I was served the divorce papers by a marshal on my way to celebrate my graduation from my very first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE).
That day seems a lifetime away.
So much has happened since that awful day–i.e. mostly good things.
But, apparently, my heart still marks the day.
This past week I have had a heavy heart. Tears come more readily than usual. It may be a combination of both this anniversary as well as my preparation to share my heart on divorce and remarriage this Sunday at Westwood Church.
And that is okay.
My heart has it reasons. It still remembers and grieves its dismemberment from just three years ago. The tears say what happened matter. What was lost was not worthless but very precious to me.
While sad, I share this as an encouragement if you feel yourself close to tears some days around your own personal negative anniversaries. Be kind to yourself.
It did matter!
You did lose something precious for I believe–from Scripture (see Mt 19:5)–part of us is forever lost when we are rent from being one with someone else.
And it is okay to be tearful about it.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Grieving does not mean something is wrong with you. It is a perfectly normal response to loss.
Anyone who has lost something or someone dearly precious to them understands grief does not have an expiration date.
The anniversaries have ways of awakening the feels around the separation from our beloveds. It is like the heart has its own calendar with these dates permanently imprinted and will awaken us to the reality they have arrived whether or not we are willing to be kind to it.
I encourage you to be kind to your heart.
Allow it to be sad (or mad) or whatever it needs to process the loss.
Hugs and blessings,