True Friends

Forgive me for inflicting my musical tastes on you again. And I realize this is an especially twangy, country song. I selected it for its lyrics more than the twang 😉

This is a song that talks about how a true friend backs their friendship with actions. I know this is especially important, and such true friends are gifts to those of us who have survived adultery discovery (and divorce). My experience is that I discovered who my real friends were in my dark valleys.

I remember a friend who lent me his car when my broke down after my (then) wife left me with our one working vehicle. And I remember the same friend sitting with me not judging or saying much but offering me his presence during the early stages of trauma and grief. Another true friend gave me pep talk to set healthy boundaries as my courage flagged at times. He gave me the truth straight up when I really needed it. And I remember some other, older friends, who practically adopted me as my marriage dead its horrible death. I will never forget the simple kindness of the weekend away helping them winterize their cabin in Northern Minnesota. Nor will I forget the friend who encouraged me to get tested for STDs, just in case. And there are many more I could mention not even counting my amazing, blood family.

Maybe you had some friends who rose to the top in your experience as well? They were there when you needed them the most. They showed up when you needed them the most.

What a gift these true friends are!

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. -Proverbs 17:7, NIV

You do, indeed, “find out who your friends are.”