“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”-Matthew 12:36-37, NIV
When reconstructing one’s narrative, truth can be both freeing and punishing. It is punishing for those whose actions were far from righteous. And it is freeing for the innocent.
Truth helps give me peace about my tormentors. It helps me to forgive them and entrust them to God.
Ultimately, these individuals will never escape. The truth will find them. And then they will have to find a way to integrate it into their lives or live a fantasy disconnected from reality (or put another way–disconnect from life itself).
When challenged about my deeds or decisions regarding my first marriage, I can stand on the truth–as many of you can as faithful spouses. I know what happened–at least, what I need to know.
Adultery and abandonment destroyed my first marriage. I chose neither. My ex chose both.
Those counselors who supported my ex and attacked my character enabled her sinful deceptions, adultery, and abandonment. They participated in abuse as far as I am concerned. That is the truth.
- I do not envy my former in-laws who now must live with the truth of helping their daughter commit adultery and destroy her own marriage.
- I do not envy my religious former “friends” who slandered my character, attacked my calling, and sided with an adulteress enabling her adultery and abandonment.
- I do not envy my former denomination’s official(s) who used their spiritual authority to judge and further injure a brother minister instead of protecting and truly caring for him.
That is the truth.
And I have peace releasing all of these people to God in forgiveness. What they did to me or failed to do for me is no longer my concern. I don’t need my pound of flesh from any of them. The truth is punishment enough. And one day, God tells us in Scripture that they will have to answer about these things.
Truth is punishing.
But for me, it is freeing.
I am a faithful spouse. And I have nothing to fear walking in the light of truth and in the sight of my God.