Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
-Genesis 2:24, KJV
Marrying someone is a choice.
At least, it is a choice in the modern Western world where having the freedom to choose is a major legal basis of regarding the marriage as valid. No one is holding a gun to your head while getting married validly.
And this is a relatively easy choice on the wedding day. People are cheering you on and your love for your spouse is in full bloom. It may be the easiest “I do” you will ever speak or choose in your entire marriage.
It is spoken before the realities of married life come home:
–Such a vow is spoken before the pressures of finances and the stress of work life are present like a constant drum in the relationship.
–Such a vow is spoken before the need to accomplish household chores inspire a semi-regular conversation about who is doing his or her “fair share.”
–Such a vow is made before the happily married weight gain occurs and the years transforms one’s once youthful spouse.
And all of that isn’t even taking into account all the stresses that come with bringing children into the mix. Needless to say, the choice of saying “I do” and vowing lifelong fidelity on the wedding day is comparatively easy.
But it was and is still your choice!
Will you continue to choose to say “I do” to forsaking all others when a more attractive option presents himself or herself?
Will you choose “I do” when an attractive woman signals sexual attention?
Will you choose “I do” when a coworker “notices” you and gives you his undivided attention?
Because opportunities will arise for you to choose and say “I won’t” (forsake all others).
You choosing to say, “I won’t” really has nothing to do with how much weight your spouse has gained or how poor a listener he is. Rather, this is about your integrity or lack thereof. It is about you choosing to break your solemn vow to your spouse and God.
Choosing to say, “I won’t” (forsake all others) tells the world that you only make easy promises and lack the moral fortitude to follow through when keeping such promises becomes more difficult.
Saying “I do” to your spouse on the wedding day is a choice. Maybe the easiest one.
It is your choice each time you stare down temptation and choose to say “I do” again to him or her.
Similarly, it is your choice each time you choose to give into temptation and say by action, “I won’t.”
Circumstances do not make such choices; you do.