What was the most confusing thing about the experience?

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What was the most confusing part of the experience?

So much is confusing and difficult when discovering a spouse has been unfaithful. So called “Christian” advice to forgive and forget in an effort to “save” the marriage is a big piece that adds to the confusion of the day.

Another candidate for most confusing is the reinforcement of “The Shared Responsibility Lie” as if taking partial–or even full blame–for the adulterous destruction of the marriage will actually help anyone.

Besides all that comes the confusion over who is really a friend or an enemy to the faithful spouse’s well-being. That category includes sussing out whether or not the in-laws are godly or simply going to side with blood no matter what.

For me, I found it difficult to grasp and believe what happened actually happened and that I was not to blame for it. That was what was most confusing for me.

So what was it for you?

Please chime in below in the comment section.

5 thoughts on “What was the most confusing thing about the experience?”

  1. Yes, same feeling of confusion as yours “difficult to grasp and believe what happened actually happened” and I did not know why it yet… Just very confused, shouting that this is some sort of misunderstanding. I’m not a villain I’m being portrait. Disbelief that this was real and I was in court fighting to see my kids. Church pastor, elders and members looking at me with suspicion at first. Then after 1/2 year of hell,confusion that I was discarded for an old preacher fart 22yrs senior. Was she planning to change his diapers in few years?, For a person who obandoned his own kids and wife. my 5 kids did not need their dad?, new old preacher friend was going to replace me? Outlaws hated my guts with venom, yet seemed happy when I financially helped them $k+ Through past 15 yrs. Confusion all the way till truth came out… Thank God for protecting me through this nightmare…

    1. The old preacher fart definitely had a plan to appropriate another man’s wife who was 22 years younger.
      So sorry “Broken”…

  2. I thought that we shared the same values. We read passages from Proverbs together about adultery. I thought we were on the same page. After I found evidence of his adultery, he denied it. He tried to project the image of someone who had not committed adultery, although the evidence showed that he had. He was angry at me for confronting him and he did not care about my pain or repairing the relationship. I think he was angry that I discovered his secret and that he would not be able to continue to carry on his affair behind my back. I also felt very hurt that he wanted another woman after I had tried so very hard to make our relationship work. There is nothing I would not have done for him and the other woman was just no where near as invested in him as I was and I was just floored that he threw our marriage away for her.

  3. My situation is similar to broken_hurt. My ex left me for a woman who is 15 years older than I am. I was baffled that his family actually supported him! During the hellish divorce, more sins came to light, sins that actually made the adultery a minor issue. I am still baffled that these people claim to be Christian but did and still continue to do the same sins. I refer back to Habakuk when I am asking God where is the justice.

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