When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
-Matthew 9:36, NLT
This website is a complete labor of love. To date, I have lost and not made money off of writing this blog.
In many ways, I give back to the Lord by writing this blog and continuing the various conversations it inspires. The gift of my time, treasure, and heart are gifts I gladly and freely give unto the Lord. Care of this beleaguered flock is dear to me as I stood in their midst not all that long ago.
I continue writing and sharing about adultery and divorce because the voices out there are confusing for the faithful spouses and others alike. They more often than not promote lies–like “The Shared Responsibility Lie.” Or they push for false hope as divorce is never considered a real option for a Christian spouse in some circles.
One would think the message of “Taking Adultery Seriously” is a rather benign stance for a Christian pastor. However, I have found over the years writing this blog that standing firmly on this Ten Commandment prohibition ruffles feathers within the Christian community.
An evangelical pastor is free to rail over how awful the “climbing” divorce rate is, but he dare not suggest something–like adultery–is worse than avoiding “divorce.” “Intact” marriages continue to be treated as more valuable in practice than godliness and righteousness.
My goal is to continue this blog to continue to change the conversation. Plenty of “Christian” resources exist out there shaming faithful spouses for considering or actually divorcing a cheater. This blog is not one of them.
The reality is God would prefer to save souls as opposed to a farce of an “intact” marriage (see Jeremiah 3:8).
And I know this blog has been a lifeline to faithful spouses. I read comments regularly to that effect. That encourages me to keep on writing as it helps to know the blog is having a positive impact in this dark, dark world.
A book is still in the hopper.
And I may expand to doing some short videos to make this material accessible to an even broader audience.
Thank you.
My privilege. Truly.
Thank you and bless you. A light in the darkness!
I was in an abusive marriage and I was desperately trying to make it work. I did not believe that I could divorce, biblically, because I did not have evidence of adultery. I remember wishing at one point that I would get the evidence so that I could divorce, because he was abusive and refused to change. Shortly after wishing for that evidence, it was revealed to me. I remember thinking at the time that God had recompensed my ex-husband’s act of adultery against him, because my ex-husband was not able to alter, destroy, undo or otherwise get rid of the evidence. He denied it adamantly, but it was just so obvious that it was evidence of adultery that I was just not able to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was abusive and unrepentant when I confronted him and we did divorce. This broke my heart and I really did not think I could go on without him. However, he refused to confess and repent so I will not be returning to a marriage with him. Thank you for stressing the importance of repentance; I do believe that reconciliation in not possible without it. There are some situations where divorce is the right thing to do; without repentance, I believe that the adultery would continue and that is just too painful a reality for anyone to live.
Divorce Minister, I am so thankful for the work you do! I am very lucky in that I did not receive any bad counsel from my pastor and members of my church congregation. That said, there is do much bad information and lenient attitudes towards cheating in the “world” that I lost sight of the fact that we are dealing with SIN. Thank you for helping me get my values and priority back. I only wish I had found you sooner.
I appreciate your ministry. I do wonder if it wouldn’t hurt to have a little bit of pre-screened advertising or a donate button. Perhaps, bringing in a little bit of money off the blog would be helpful in expanding the ministry.
Thank you for this blog! It’s also very helpful to those of us who have suffered the trauma of other kinds of abusive relationships… and helps shed light on the extreme difficulty of emotionally breaking free from the control (brainwashing) of the abuser. In my case it was severe domestic abuse in family of origin from my father who abused and probably cheated on mother, and abused myself and siblings). God bless your ministry.