Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. – I John 3:18, NIV
Who has loved you “with actions and in truth?”
What did they do?
AG lent me his car when mine was broken down, and I needed to get to work. He also sat with me in silence giving me his empathetic presence and not judging me during the early stages of my first marriage’s demise.
JU and RA gave me calls to action helping to wake me from my passivity and take action.
My parents listened to me and prayed with me every night as I called them. They financed my move and my lawyer protection for the divorce among other things.
VA and LA practically adopted me along with SA and BA taking me out, encouraging me, and listening to me.
CB and IB distracted me on a fun-filled weekend over Labor Day. IB supported me in many ways through it all, and CB helped me take step forwards professionally guiding me in how to network, etc.
I could go on “naming” people like all those who helped me in my ecclesiastical trial submitting statements and my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) peers/supervisors who God used to support me through the emotional lows as well as launch me professionally.
God has definitely given me friends and family who loved both in action and truth.
Who loved you “with action and in truth?”
What did they do?
Nobody.
Oh Carol, I’m so sorry. I would love to be here for you in any way I can. Just let me know how I can help. Remember, you are precious to our Lord and He is here for you.
Carol, I understand how you feel. My husband’s infidelity (actually my discovery of it) came at a low point in my life. My mother had passed away a year earlier, I had a bit of a falling out with my brother, who then moved to another state for his job, and my other brother, who is very supportive, is out of town a lot for work. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 7 years, and my friends had kind of dwindled down to a few who are back to work and busy with family. I felt so isolated.
I prayed daily and earnestly for my husband to end his affair and to save our marriage and preserve our family. But besides that I prayed for friends and family. After that my estranged brother called me and we had a nice long conversation. I also was invited out of the blue to see my cousins I haven’t seen in a long time. Then I got Christmas cards from 2 old friends with notes wanting to get together.
I know that God hears all our prayers and answers then in His time, not ours, and I’ve come to realize that my husband and his affair partner have free will, and if they choose to disobey the will of God, that’s their choice and I will have to live with the consequences. But when I asked God for friends, He sent them. When I asked for family, He sent them. Just ask Carol, and have faith.
Carol, I am glad you found your way here then. While we can’t be there physically for you, I hope you can find encouragment from us as co-sojourners who have walked or are walking similar paths. You are not truly alone. As I hope you can tell from the comments here, people care about you.
Hugs,
DM
I don’t know how long it has been for you Carol, but hope that it will not be much longer before you start getting love and support. When you feel able to, do share your story
Let people know at a pace you feel comfortable with, and the support should grow
For me the number continues to grow – my children, my sister,my parents, my minister who knew there was something wrong and asked me if I needed help, invited me round for coffee, a walk, to the theatre,,friends, who were happy for me to ring,and who rang me, work colleagues, one sent me a lovely card, one a bunch of flowers, lawyer friend who invited me round to tell me the options, and what to do, and a recommendation for someone to act for me, friends from church who offered to help as I packed for a camping holiday, friends on holiday who helped me set up, invited me out, and to share meals, a friend who suggested some prayer ministry and the lovely minister and his wife who invited me round, ended up with a eucharist which was lovely, brother in law and family who have continued to invite me to family things, children’s friends who have invited me to social gatherings, kind letters in christmas cards. The doctors who were so kind. Even the man who rang me trying to get me to upgrade my husband’s mobile phone contract[which was in my name but I was still paying for it, I knew that if I cancelled it and he lost his number I would get even more abuse] stopped trying to sell me a better contract, told me to just stop paying, to start looking after myself, and about how the same thing had happened to his mammy, and how she was doing really well now….without so many people there would have been so many more days and nights spent in tears
My wonderful friends, old & new who supported me & let me cry and talk about my pain. Friends that called constantly, prayed with me,took me out, encourged me and even cried with me.
My Mom, Sister and brothers.. My youngest brother came and stayed with me for a month… Time he could have spent traveling like he had planned.
Strangers online who have shown me kindness… I could write a book on the kindness and love that has been shown to me… I am truly grateful.. None of them taken for granted. I don’t been even have time to be disappointed by the friends that were not there!
My two closest girlfriends have stepped in as family since my family doesn’t live close. They’ve loved my kids like family too. They support me no matter what.
My two brothers have offered to kick his a**. I know they wouldn’t really do that but I like the offer. My dad passed away several years ago but I have no doubt if he were still here he would have whacked my husband upside his head and told him to be a real man.
My mom stayed with me for a month and cooked and cleaned for me so I could get some much needed rest.
My best friend from high school emails me daily and sees a lot of helpful truth in the bible that I often miss. She is amazingly supportive.
My staff, my church, my Christian counselor, neighbor, my cousins, many friends and, of course, my Heavenly Father have been there for me. I can’t imagine doing this without all of them. Thank you Lord!
And sometimes we need to take a moment a write a thank you note on a card to let these people know, weeks, months, years later as we progress through our healing that their indiscriminate acts of kindness… Mattered.