The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12, NIV Ever notice how quick the cheater is to talk about what “you owe” them?! The last thing they want to do is face the mirror and see their own shortcomings. In … Continue reading “Lectured by a cheater”
Category: Demons and Spiritual Warfare
“Damaged Goods” Shaming
“I hope you are finding healing…” -Authority figure (responding to faithful spouse’s vulnerable sharing) It happened again for me today. However, I think I am getting better at spotting it faster: THE HOOK– For me, it is the unwanted identity of being “damaged goods” as particularly coming from an authority figure of some sort in … Continue reading ““Damaged Goods” Shaming”
Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. The assumption here is the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends. I say lie because telling these friends a different reason than the infidelity being behind the divorce (or severe marriage struggles) is a … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.””
“Starter Marriage” Craziness
Yet you say, “For what reason?”Because the Lord has been witnessBetween you and the wife of your youth,With whom you have dealt treacherously;Yet she is your companionAnd your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter marriage.” For those unfamiliar with … Continue reading ““Starter Marriage” Craziness”
Anchoring our hearts on truth
Sometimes cheaters will push us off our balance with their confident lies. The antidote to lies is truth. Our journey to healthy spirituality is a journey of growing deeper in our understanding of truth. Truth is reality. Cheaters deal in fiction and lies. Some have been dealing in such worlds so long that they have … Continue reading “Anchoring our hearts on truth”
Violation of Boundaries and Advice
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. -Job 42:7, NIV Ever had that “friend” who got furious with you because you did not do whatever they told … Continue reading “Violation of Boundaries and Advice”
Cheaters and liars in dangerous waters
Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. -I Timothy 4:2, NIV What happens when we walk into a body of cold water? It usually feels really cold initially. However, as we wait and stay in the water, our legs become numb to the temperatures. It … Continue reading “Cheaters and liars in dangerous waters”
Shameless sinners
But the Lord is still there in the city, and he does no wrong.Day by day he hands down justice, and he does not fail. But the wicked know no shame. -Zephaniah 3:5, NLT Shameful behavior deserves to be treated as shameful behavior. I believe in unconditional love. However, I do believe we must reject a life of shameful … Continue reading “Shameless sinners”
Confident lies are disorienting.
“‘Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them. But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” …. Then Samuel went to Saul, and Saul said to him, “Blessed are you of the Lord! I have performed the commandment … Continue reading “Confident lies are disorienting.”
Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.
Dating again? My recommendation is to find someone who is not very good at lying. Put in more positive framing: Find a transparent and honest person. My ex-wife was very good at lying. I suspect many can relate to this statement who come here as well. Was your cheater an accomplished liar, too? Some cheaters … Continue reading “Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.”